I'm sorry. There aren't really any words. I'm sorry it happened and I'm sorry there was so much suffering before it.

I've been meaning to read Doughty for a long time, and never quite sure I was ready. Maybe it's time now. (My own white-knuckle-gripped book, once upon a time, was Scott Taylor Smith's When Someone Dies: The Practical Guide to the Logistics of Death. If that sounds like a thing you need, I recommend it.)