juushika: Drawing of a sleeping orange cat (I should have been born a cat)
juushika ([personal profile] juushika) wrote2011-02-02 07:22 pm

Ten Day Meme: Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.


Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Insofar l as I know myself: consider this list startlingly accurate, for better or worse.

1. Be unique. I find nothing more attractive than this. Don't take pains to be painfully special, and don't take "unique" to mean "incompatible with the rest of society," but have qualities which are distinctly yours—and own them. I love unique noses and extraordinary eyes, ingenious hair colors and body mods, strong styles and unusual methods of self-presentation; I love personality quirks and strong opinions, overused words and strange habits, remarkable skills and new ways of looking at the world; I love geeks and artists and the double-jointed, but I love little things too: moles and writing styles, small details that are you, distinctly you, uniquely you. I love people who are not ashamed of what sets them apart. I love to find what sets a person apart, to fetishize it, idolize it, and let it expand me.

2. Have nice hair. This probably doesn't mean what you think it means. I don't care about highlights and designer cuts, and I hate hair products. But I use hair to recognize people, and so hair is sort of My Thing. I like unique hair, I like touchable hair, I like beautiful hair. I like hair. I want to like yours.

3. Be honest. I find unexpected honesty and intimacy very seductive. Open up, lay yourself bare; say things not permitted by social borders and niceties, say things which are difficult to say. Share your opinions, expose your emotions. Make compliments and confessions. Online communication lends well into this, because we all feel a little safer behind a computer screen—but this is about more than anonymous catharsis. Surprise me with who you are.

4. Be weak, and changing, and strong. I don't believe in perfection or miracle improvement; I find self-knowledge and self-actualization powerful. Navel-gaze, discover your flaws, and be honest about who you are because vulnerability and weakness can be beautiful in their own right. Find ways to change and better yourself, and inspire me with them. Develop yourself, that you are always better to know, that I'm always discovering something new in you.

5. Expose me to something new, something to fall in love with. Maybe it's the art you make. Maybe it's the art you consume. I associate people with the beauty they bring to my life, so give me something to make me better, to make my days better, to make me think of you. (And always, always, give me books.)

6. Be passionate. Be the sort of passionate that we label geeky. Geek out with me. I desire both intelligent, fierce discussion and foolish fansquee, sometimes in the same conversation. What we love says so much about us: I want to dig into your brain and discover your whats and whys. I want you to encourage the failed academic hiding within me. I want overenthusiastic gushing to lighten the mood and create the sort of camaraderie only found in shared passion.

7. Take initiative and make allowances. I'm introverted and insecure and a little brain-crazy. If you reach out and make sure I don't retreat into my hermit cave, you'll assure that our relationship won't disappear to nothing—and you'll win my gratitude, and let me put my energy into building a deep relationship rather than maintaining its simple existence. Put up with my moodiness and eccentricities, and better yet appreciate them as a part of my total package. Don't bite back affection or compliments; say you love. Nothing is more reassuring or beloved than explicit and unabashed affection. Say you care, say you love. Don't worry: I say it too.

8. Take care of me. This the least universal of these rules, because not everyone should or can and not every relationship (no matter how intimate) warrants it. But I am, at heart, just another spoiled lap cat. I'm as self-sufficient as a kitten; I want gushy food and delicious treats, and a scritch behind the ear. Give me gifts and a soft bed, call me by a special nickname, spoil me, keep me safe and sound. Know that sometimes I'll squirm away or turn up my nose at the best offerings, know that in some relationships being babied is never welcome—but under the right circumstances, nothing makes me fonder.


Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.