juushika

Late to the bandwagon, but this is my wander though James Davis Nicoll's 100 SF/F Books You Should Consider Reading in the New Year.

Some thoughts: A great number of women! Otherwise the diversity is pretty standard, at least within the realms of what I read/circles I follow. Nicoll has more tolerance/love for well-intended early SF/F and the way it influenced the genre. Laudable! I do this for tropes I care about! but I can't and wouldn't want to do it this generally, probably because I don't like most genre tropes. Very little that was entirely new to me is an immediate must-read, complicated by the fact that the library doesn't have most of them in ebook. That said, where we overlap on slightly quieter/more obscure SF/F, like "obscure Cherryh" and "obscure Giffith" and "Elizabeth Lynn <3," is delightful. I suppose my standards for more obscure things still work seeking out is, predictably, arbitrary.

Not for me a profoundly useful list, but a fun one, particularly as a meme.


Bold = read it. (37)
Underlined = read something else by the author and/or on TBR. (46)
Strikethrough = no, ty. (8)
* = I may add this to my TBR because of this list. (13)

( The list )

What are you currently reading?
Ariel, Steven R. Boyett. I've been reading the companion animal trope with intent for about two years ago, largely prompted by rachelmanija's rundown of a Siren's panel on the subject. I never read (or consume) anything in excess because I burn out fast; I'm particularly susceptible to that here because the genre is riddled with questionable quality. I'm mostly referring to Pern, Valdemar, and other endless series, but the trope as a whole is id-driven and frequently adjunct to the plot, and so sometimes shows up to serve unique functions in books I'd otherwise avoid. Ariel isn't necessarily one of those—I'm fond the post-apocalyptic—but its unicorn-in-a-dystopia is a decent example of what it means to read a trope, rather than a genre: I'm here for one feature, and when that feature isn't the core of its fictional world (Pern &c), it may instead show up in the weirdest places.

What Ariel does with the trope: There's a number of types of human/animal bonds in the book, including pets and thralls. Meanwhile, the protagonist's companion animal, a unicorn, has a human or super-human intelligence, their communication is verbal and their bond has psychic/magical elements; functionally, Ariel is the better-than-real partner Pete can't have—more than once he wishes she were human. There's a sensual/physical but non-sexual element to their relationship, and what prevents it from being sexual is primarily Ariel's body and secondarily the fact that Pete has to remain a virgin (because: unicorn). It's not unusual for sex to be part of this trope, but it usually appears in the form of humans experiencing their companion's sexuality or, occasionally, vice versa; to see it addressed as a possible component of the human/companion bond is frankly gratifying—if the bonds are that intimate, you'd think it'd come up more often.

What did you recently finish reading?
The Beast Master, Andre Norton, obviously in the same pursuit. What The Beast Master does with the trope, which I didn't mention in my review: The early passage I quoted in my review says more about what the trope could become than what it is; it goes underexplored, and didn't just seem that way because I was only there to explore it. Much of the book's emotional journey is about the protagonist surviving despite his bond animals, functionally as an aspect of the travelogue/survival plot but thematically as the protagonist's journey towards independent action and thought. He has multiple bond animals (which is deeply unusual in most examples of this trope), most are realistically animal, and each functionally serves as a trained tool—but the human/animal bond has a psychic element, and the bond big cat feels slightly more than animal and significantly more complex in her relationship with the protagonist.

What do you think you'll read next?
Not a companion animal book! I'll probably go back to Zelazny's Amber series; I'm currently between pentalogies. But five books is a lot (see: burning out on series)—I may need another unrelated book to cleanse my palate first.

What are you currently reading?
I'm at the tail end of the Fate/Zero light novels. The fan translations are exceedingly unpolished; elsewise this has been a phenomenal read. I loved the anime when I watched it, but revisiting it in a media I find easier to retain while in constant contact with a friend who's also a big fan has been intensely rewarding, because this story deserves minute observation and rumination. Fate/Zero's hallmark is a complex web of characterization, motivation, and interaction, and each of these is more explicit in the light novels (there isn't time or potential for similar exposition in the anime). As a result, every scene is fascinating and can stand up to the scrutiny it invites. This is what I talk about when I talk about id-level media: I eat this stuff up, even though I've been taking the novels at the same slow pace I approach any series. The anime may still be the place to start with Fate/Zero, because it's great and a little more accessible, but the light novels are perfect.

What did you recently finish reading?
The Secret Country, Pamela Dean (review here). I'm deeply unsure if I plan to continue the series. I want to read The Hidden land to complete this story, and The Dubious Hills interests me for its premise, but I only ever found a stray used copy of The Secret Country to begin with; both of my libraries have little Dean, and even if I didn't prefer to borrow first, I certainly didn't love The Secret Country so much that I feel compelled to search for the sequels. We're probably headed to Powell's next week, so I may find them then; we'll see.

What do you think you'll read next?
No idea! I try to keep a couple of books at hand without making specific plans, because when I read at whim with no sense of obligation I tend to enjoy it more. Right now some classic horror, a reread, and some Mary Renault are all in my maybe-someday-soon pile, but I may chose none of them.

[Error: unknown template qotd]
Since I'd been meaning to do this...

Books. Every book on my wishlist is one that I can't easily get via a library, or have already read, and either way know I want to own—my book wants are rarely frivolous these days. Moonwise by Greer Gilman and The Annotated Alice by Lewis Carroll, ed. Martin Gardner are probably at the top of my list, but I want all out of print Caitlín R. Kiernan.

Video games. I want new copies of Pokémon HeartGold and Dance Central, to make sure I get the Pokéwalker and can import songs to DC2 respectively. I also want Sims 3: Generations and Sims 3: Pets, eventually. But I have plenty more games on my to-play list which I wouldn't mind the least bit used, most of them for the DS: The World Ends With You, the Ace Attorney series starting at the start, Kingdom Hearts Re:Coded, Super Scribblenauts, and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, as well as any obscure JRPGs that come recommended. ETA: Gimme—I mean, now that there's an English language version, Inazuma Eleven is also high on my list.

Socks, but in particular these socks. I have Rust and love them, and would love Paprika and Moss and Lichen and Carbon and even Blueberry, too (but Paprika most of all). At or over the knee, absorbent (cotton or rayon), solid-patterned natural-colored (but I could make an exception) socks are where I'm at.

Long-sleeved, long-torso'd shirts (probably size medium) with thumbholes. Pullover hoodies in fairly thin fabrics, thumbholes bonus. Armwarmers with thumbholes. Thumbholes everywhere.

Cellphone-style charms to decorate my portable gaming devices. Storebought or handmade, anything as long as it's awesome and durable. Plastic stars are awesome; Pokémon, too—here are some of my favorites, but all I really want for Christmas is.... Cute and 3D and probably plastic preferred.

A menorah. I'm finally getting to the point in my life where I want one for my own home. This is my family's, to which I am greatly attached; I think I want smooth organic shapes and copper or brass tones for my own.

BPAL. My wishlist remains out of date but not useless; I'm also in need of bottles of Dana O'Shee and Plunder. Handmade jewelry in copper or brass, peridot or amber; even better, jewelry designers to eye and lust over, asmy past favorites are going in new directions which are less my style. Serious chocolate: single origin, 75-95% cocoa content, artisan. I love cocoa nibs, too. Ruled hardback Moleskines. Pennies—I collect them. Letters, not gift cards. Good wishes.

As always, my contact info is here (can't see it? want to? just ask).

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.


Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Whether I have comments/emails/posties to look at. My social life centers around the internet and I'm prone to obsessive thinking, so it's no surprise that I'm constantly contemplating checking my email one more time.

2. My back. I think about it because it hurts, because maybe I can alleviate the hurt. I think about my posture and if I should stretch or take a break. I think about how I look to others when I'm dealing with it. I think about what my pain levels have been and if that changes what I can or should do. My back is always there, at the edge of my thoughts—and it should be, because neglecting it can only do harm.

3. What I'm compositing. I'm always compositing something—a few LJ posts and emails and a piece of fiction on any given day, and they're constantly in my thoughts. I muse over big ideas and specific word order, I work over roadblocks, and while I sometimes jot down notes unusually it just collects in my hindbrain, fodder to feed me the next time I sit down to write.

4. Food. I'm a nervous, possessive eater, never quite sure what my next meal will be or when, or if it'll be enough to satisfy me. I'm discontent with my body image, and worry about what I should eat or if I've had too much. I often think of, and worry about, foodstuffs.

5. Where my glasses are. I'm nearsighted and my focal range is at about three feet, which means I need my glasses to get around but take them off for close work (like reading or using the computer—both of which I do all the time). I'm also absentminded and clumsy. If I'm not thinking about my glasses, I'll take them off and put them somewhere and they end up lost, or on a chair and sat on, or on the floor and stepped on. So I think about them.

6. Sex and the related. This is complex and vast and I don't really feel like discussing it, but ah—call me predictable: sex is on my mind.

7. How I come off. This goes at the end of the list not because it's the least important, but because it's the hardest to pin down. Self-presentation and outside perception are the most common and important things on my mind: what others think, why I care, how I can change, if I want to change, if my intentions differ from my results. This makes up a fair chunk of my brain-crazies and is the hobbyhorse of my obsessive thought. It is always there.


Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.


Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

It was hard to come up with nine things which were worth saying but hadn't been said a billion times before. Whether I managed to find that balance, I don't know—but they'll do. This has sat around waiting long enough.

1. I present as female, and am fairly content to be identified as female, but the truth is that I don't have a strong gender identity. I relate to some female social roles, and given my body type tend to conform to some aspects of female self-presentation. I relate to many masculine sex roles and some social roles. More often, and especially where my therianthropy is concerned, I relate to a null-gender, more neuter than gender-neutral. I find myself somewhere between both and neither, with twinges of gender-related dysphoria in both my physical body and my gender presentation; I wish I could toss out the entire idea of gender, but don't need to do that or to redefine how I present and am identified. In other words: this is just enough of a thing to bug me, but not enough to hold a candle to the more significant gender issues that others face, so I try not to fuss about it overmuch.

2. I read an average of one page per minute. This proves to be a reliable and universal estimate, as long as we're not talking verse or textbooks; it's also damn useful, because I can use pages read as an approximate timer.

3. I dislike unfinished stories. I rarely read or watch anything that isn't finished—I can make allowances for TV shows (single episodes of crime dramas which don't have strong overarching plots, or finished seasons of long-running series), but I won't read manga that's ongoing and will rarely start books with sequels still to come (and I may not even read books in a finished series). In part this is pragmatism: I don't like getting to the end which isn't an end, waiting for the real end to come isn't my strong point, and I like to consume the media that has my attention now rather than the one that caught my attention with the first installment two years ago. In part, it's fear: like everyone else that began InuYasha a decade ago, I know that a promising start can turn into a painfully long and mediocre story; worse, some strong starts never reach their ends. And in part, I just think it's lazy and selfish to string along the audience for one more season, one more sequel, another year of waiting, another bundle of cash spent, on something which may not turn out to be good after all. I can and do bend this rule, some of my favorite pieces of media actually break it, but for the most part: I dislike unfinished stories.

4. After a lifelong habit, I stopped biting my nails in a single moment. Devon told me that saliva weakens nails (a casual search backs this up), and that was sufficiently strong and logical reason to stop, which apparently was all I needed.

5. I have little connection to my given name. Jessica just doesn't feel like me. It doesn't feel like it's not, me, either; it is null. I have a stronger connection to my screen name because I chose it and have used it for so long, but I wouldn't pick it to replace my given name. I have some connection to my middle name (Erin), because of its relation to my Celtic heritage and red hair, but I wouldn't chose to go by it either. I've considered going by Jesse, which as my maternal grandfather's first name is the source of my given name, but I know most people would hear it as Jessie, which is too cutesy and familiar for me. Sometimes I sign myself as J, which is a happy compromise but obviously not ideal. None of this bothers me overmuch, but it makes me feel a little unconnected, unknown, freefloating.

6. I've always had a strange relationship with my singing voice. While my speaking voice is high, my singing voice is fairly low (for reference, I tend to find Maynard James Keenan's range a good fit). I've long been shy about my voice and unwilling to sing in front of others, and I tend to have difficulty finding notes when singing without accompaniment. But when singing along to music, I'm adept at harmonizing or dropping an octave to stay in my range, and I find the act of singing satisfying in a physical, almost sensual way. Falling in love with Florence + The Machine has taught me to belt it out, and for better or worse—these days I love to.

7. I don't visualize. I mention this upon occasion, because it greatly impacts how I take in and interpret stimuli—but only on occasion, so it's not a bad fact to throw into a list of lesser known things about me. Rather than images, I think in words, often in full sentences. I've explained this in more detail in this comment. I also have what is probably minor dyscalculia, which gives me some trouble with numbers and distances but mostly means that I constantly reverse digits. I have a bit of synthesia-esque cross-wiring, and so read color into scent and feeling and sensation into letters and words. I have minor facial blindness, and primarily use hair to recognize people (even Devon somewhat a stranger after a haircut). I remember specific, random events rather than general trends or long passages of time. Oh and also I think I'm a cat, and I'm diagnosed with depression, anxiety NOS, and agoraphobia. (Now I've certainly grown redundant.) I do not think that I'm a special snowflake and that the eccentricities of my brain are particularly remarkable or extreme; I do find them interesting, and think that knowing and respecting them aids and helps explain me.

8. I have problems reading sideways or upside-down. You'd think, given how intimate I am with words, that these things would be easy, but even on an angle I have problems. This means that I have to sit upright to read subtitles, which sadly makes the bulk of my preferred visual media a little more inaccessible.

9. I run a more-or-less porn blog on Tumblr. It's probably not the sort of images you're thinking, no matter how well you know me—which is why I don't link to or mention it. You probably don't want to know what is there. I wish it were more popular, but I find a lot of joy in this silly little side project—in ways that are meaningful enough to justify in-depth explanation, perhaps, some day.


Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

A picture meme, via honest_illusion, to take up a bit too much of my time:

*Post ten of any pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.

* No captions. It must be like we're speaking with images and we have to interpret your visual language just like we have to interpret your words.

* They must ALREADY be on your hard drive - no googling or flickr! They have to have been saved to your folders sometime in the past. They must be something you've saved there because it resonated with you for some reason.

* You do NOT have to answer any questions about any of your pictures if you don't want to. You can make them as mysterious as you like. Or you can explain them away as much as you like.

( +9 pictures. Some large images, mild sexual and violent content. )

I'd have resized the large images, but it rather defeats the purpose in these specific cases. Some work is fanart for Lamento, Dragonball Z, Persona 4, Togainu no Chi, and Axis Powers Hetalia; some work is original. Source is provided where known. My picture folders have a very narrow focus (because I'm an anal-retentive completionist collector, so if the focus isn't narrow then the collection grows unmanageably large), so this is hardly the be-all, end-all of me—but it is a fair few of the parts of me that I explore via visual art.

From sisterite, a meme:

In response to this post, ask me about the first time I did something. It can be anything—the first time I used chopsticks, the first time someone I knew died, the first time I left the country, the first time someone of the opposite sex saw me naked. I'll answer in the thread. Then (if you like) put it on your journal and I'll ask you a question.

Call me strange, but half the reason I'm carrying this forward is because I like the way it's worded.

Snagged from century_eyes and merrycalliope and maybe a few others besides: A book meme.

* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

She watched his looks with anxious affection, and their expression was always faithfully reflected in her own.
—The Mysteries of Udolpho, Ann Radcliffe

Of the four books equidistant to me (it was a library day, shush), none of them have good lines at that specific location. Disappointing? A little.

I only answer this because the answers that have been appearing on my flist delight me.

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Woof (the dog): OMG! I love you. Touch me. Touch me more. Is it guinea pig time? OMG I think it might be guinea pig time! Let us pet the guinea pigs! Together! Hey are they gonna eat that?

Maidson (the cat): For I am great queen of the universe, and all lower beings must bow down to me. I think today shall be "sleep on the paper bag day." The paper bag does make beautiful noise, which delights my even-more-beautiful ears. Oh, hello. I didn't realize you were listening. Pet me?

Dude (the cat): I love you. I looooooove you. I love you more than I've ever loved everyone before. Pet me. Hold me. Allow me to climb upon you and shove my purring love in your face. I love you. You are my favorite person in whole world until someone else enters the room. Hold me...

Kuzco (the guinea pig): Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, that's all I'm saying. Also: FOOOOOD! FOOD FOOD FOOOOOD TIME FOOD!

Alfie (the guinea pig): ...

Okay with Alfie I admit I'm stuck. I can't even pretend to imagine what Alfie is thinking, much less what he would say. I believe he thinks not in desires or thoughts as we know them, but in alien beeps and pauses—like Morse code, only undecipherable, and constantly punctuated by desires for carrots. So if he has words, it is a loud call for food. But the rest is nonsense not even Kuzco could understand.

Jamie (the dog): As far as we're concerned, James does talk in the best human-decipherable English she can manage in silence and as a dog.