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What I Watched: a piecemeal 2018 retrospective
Because 2018 was a real bad year, and because I'm lazy, I didn't keep any log of what I watched; but as consider writing my best of 2018 list, it occurs to me that it would be useful to know what I watched. This is recreated from my Tumblr and Netflix logs and (ahaha) ""memory.""" It's in only the barest chronological order and doesn't particularly resemble the capsule reviews I usually write for my watch logs, but it's better than nothing.
Star Trek: Deep Space 9, television, 1993-1999
A rewatch, and technically started last year, but this was a huge chunk of my watching and inarguably the most important thing I watched this year. It holds up phenomenally well. I did some liveblogging of this which I'll crosspost later, but: the best if a good franchise, easily; very important to me; difficult and healing to watch while coping with my dad's illness.
Coco, film, 2017
This is vibrant and diverse; and I hate the romanticization of street dogs and the "unconditionally forgive your abuse family members & then they'll reveal they've changed their ways" message. Does one outweigh another? I'm not sure.
Altered Carbon s1, television, 2018
100% there for the aesthetic alone. Unconvinced that the rest, the writing, the representation, is good. But it's indulgent AF cyberpunk.
The Good Place s1-2, television, 2016-2018
This is consistently superb: the pacing, the writing, the casting, the humor (and I hate humor!). It sincerely surprised me, in productive ways. It's one of those rare shows that gives me nothing to criticize. The only reason we haven't watched any of s3 is because I never watch things while they're airing.
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherood up to about episode 30?, anime, 2009
Perhaps I'm insufficiently versed, but this doesn't feel distinctly, obviously better than the old FMA anime; still enjoying it, and appreciate the whiplashy balance of humor to sudden grimness. Only paused this because it's hard for me to watch a lot of subs.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., film, 2017
Those playing along at home may remember that I've largely given up on Marvel universe on account of "not my thing." By all rights, this should be likewise. But Lindsay Ellis spoke on it convincingly enough that I made an exception, and I don't regret it. The throughline here of abuse and found families is sincerely well rendered—who knew! Hasn't really changed my mind re: Marvel, tho.
Some of Lost in Space, television, 2018
Enough to realize it was boring, and then an unfortunate little bit more.
Beauty and The Beast, film, 2017
Boring, bad CG, added nothing of value; but watchable I guess.
Dark s1, television, 2018
This has a phenomenal aesthetic and sense of place and set of images; the plot is profoundly tedious and I take issue with false rape accusation as narrative device. I was unsure after finishing if I'd watch s2, but with a few months of distance I am even less tempted.
Voltron: Legendary Defender s5-7, television, 2018
(We will probably have watched s8 by the end of the year.) I consistently enjoy this for its vivid science fantasy world and engaging character dynamics. It has too much filler, but the overall balance of humor to grim character growth is successful. Bury your gays was an obvious misstep which goes against everything this series has been aiming for in its casting; again, how does it balance? I'm not sure. But this remains popcorn watching & the only for-kids thing I've enjoyed lately.
Wynonna Earp s1-2, television, 2016-2017
A welcome mirror-twin to Supernatural; better representation, great camp, pretty, oh so pretty, pretty, and only as witty as a show of its type, but absolutely gay. Tumblr tags: #it's trash but no moreso than other shows of its kind; the special effects are ridiculous b/c SyFy #but it's the purest example of that 'indeterminate midwestern metrosexual redneck' aesthetic that I've found #everything is so overdesigned but in a grungy way! Bobo Del Ray's character design is a gift! the landscape is golden and long #and there's an abandoned homestead & dead trees in the background & and when in doubt: decorate with skulls #like a southern gothic playlist with those same 15 (beloved) songs come to life & coincidentally that's also the soundtrack #I want to LIVE THERE
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, television, 2018
I love how this is filmed, how stupidly excessive is its aesthetic. The writing is pretty trash, and these made-for-Netflix shows have got to figure out that the chance to make actually-hour-long episodes means that each episode should be more beefy. Shrug. Will continue to watch in the attempt to project myself into the sets.
Black Mirror s4, television, 2017
Never again will we have the San Junipero time. This season was trash, most seasons are trash for the same reason—obvious and/or reactive social commentary couched in slick but inconsistent styling. It did however prompt:
prompted by Black Mirror 4.5 "Metalhead" but absolutely not restricted to it; intersecting in some oblique way with the issues of bodies, BDSM, magical healing, and concepts of mortality in speculative settings—in the sense of:
"how does a speculative setting—a ‘more extreme' reality—alter our relationship with our bodies and minds? is it a metaphorical, exaggerated view of reality, or does the relationship change with new stimuli? what are the consequences; how do they reflect on real-world consequences?"
I don't have answers or a long list of examples for you. I don't actually know how intrusive thoughts function during trauma or similar high-stress (or prolonged stress) situations, and 5mins of googling didn't tell me. I do know that invasive thoughts span from avoidable to actionable, across numerous tones and types; they are as potentially varied as their speculative setting, and seem to me could up the stakes of prolonged survival: more opportunities to be destructive, greater/faster consequences.
on the flip side, in "Mother," published in Her Body and Other Parties, Machado uses invasive thoughts to the opposite effect, to ground a speculative concept back into reality—the vulnerable skull of an infant makes it real, despite the baby's fantastic/impossible/metaphorical origins.
intrusive thoughts are where I see the disconnect between my mental state and my daily life, in the sense that life generally goes on living—mundane, repetitive—even when the mind is in turmoil; but these thoughts are proof of such turmoil. I wonder would that would look like in a non-mundane life—or is even a speculative setting mundane to its residents? what format does an intrusive thought take when the variety of horrible things to think grows not just broader but—again engaging the conversation about magic and bodies—more feasible? would you become desensitized to "just feed yourself to the zombies" or would it be too easy to accidentally feed yourself to the zombies?
would this be productive to a narrative? could it be realized in a visual genre at all, since it seems to require interiority? would it be comforting or triggering to explore?
The Ritual, film, 2017
Good setting, good monster design, meh narrative, and the last outweighs.
it's a good thing The Ritual is only 90mins long because that's about as long as I would want to spend with that particular cast
and while it's a better than worst take on its character dynamics, but it's also not particularly ... much, theme-wise. there's too much disconnect between protagonist's character arc and monster backstory/speculative plot, which would be more okay if I liked the monster backstory, but I don't. the human element reduces it.
all I want is narratives about monsters bigger than ourselves, that dwarf and erase the human condition. you have a lot of unresolved issues regarding recent trauma? that's rough buddy but now neither you nor I care anymore, because everything is eclipsed by the discovery of something Greater, something More. maybe that's the character arc—and, sure, it's not "healthy" or easily transferred to the viewer, perhaps it's pure escapism: discover monsters; get eaten maybe; take the opportunity to escape the human condition. horror as optimistic nihilism.
& is it fair to be vaguely disappointed by one monster story for failing to fulfill my personal, specific dreams; no, probably, but I'll do it anyway.
anyway I was expecting more from the monster design given all the hype, but it is still good monster design. I am in both the show/don't show camps, I think both tropes are productive, but I do love a good full view of a monster. this one is a little wonky (I get the intended purpose of the hands, but they remain dinky little human hands; the hand/antlers are much better) & some of its final interactions with the protag are .... dumb..... but building an amorphous body, a changeable and dissonant body, which can still be pictured as a whole is an ambitious and engaging effort.
The Witch, film, 2015
The longer this sat with me, the more I liked it. The gritty tedium of the setting makes for a slow pace, but it's one of those films where the ending creeps up, builds up, and then revitalizes all the came before. Beautiful, too; well cast.
ETA: Over the Garden Wall, television, 2014
I don't think I loved this as much as most people do—it was still a little too slight, too funny for me—but what a phenomenal aesthetic and atmosphere; what a great thing to finally watch at exactly the Halloween times.
Killing Eve s1, television, 2018
I enjoyed the hell out of this. It doesn't have the same angle of indulgence as Hannibal, but 1) ladies and 2) the beats of humor/violence (as opposed to aesthetic/violence) add to the conversation, bring new things. Sandra Oh is phenomenal. A good show, will continue watching.
Some of Supernatural s13, television, 2017-2018
"Some of" being a sign that this season hasn't especially captured me, moreso even than the usual baseline of trash TV. I will finish it/the entire show eventually, now that we know it's ending.
Great British Bake Off, television
We watched & (for me) rewatched everything they have on Netflix. The Channel 4 switch suffers hugely, but the bad version of the best and perhaps only good reality show is still strong, and nothing equals this, nothing else is as perfectly soothing. I had a really shitty year and this helped me escape some of that, for which I'm grateful.
Skins Wars s1-3, television, 2014-2016
We watched this to try to fill a GBBO-shaped void, with minimal success. People making things good; American/reality TV bad. The competitive angle steals too much screentime from watching art being made. What really gets me is the financial angle, the "watching people be desperate for money as a form of entertainment" aspect; it's gross and disheartening and, after GBBO? gross and disheartening is the opposite of what I want.
Star Trek: Discovery, television, 2017-2018
I've been trying to fight the knee-jerk reaction of "change is bad" and "old things are better" (although Trek for me isn't just nostalgia—I rewatched them all [except Enterprise] within the last 5 years), and this certainly is watchable, but I'm unconvinced that it's good. Really strong cast; middling writing; weak aesthetic (so blue! the camera doesn't like it, my eyes don't like, it makes the universe so samey). & I feel like the desire to create a stronger, darker overarching story is not new to the Trek universe—is in fact DS9, and they should take pointers from it re: how to pace episodic and overarching. Also the Klingons are very bad. I dig that they speak in Klingon, but it's so slow & phonetic as to be glaring, and, again: work to bring depth to this race has been done! they should build on it, not undermine it! Discovery is fine and I don't regret that it exists, but it's not good, and I want good.
Star Trek: Deep Space 9, television, 1993-1999
A rewatch, and technically started last year, but this was a huge chunk of my watching and inarguably the most important thing I watched this year. It holds up phenomenally well. I did some liveblogging of this which I'll crosspost later, but: the best if a good franchise, easily; very important to me; difficult and healing to watch while coping with my dad's illness.
Coco, film, 2017
This is vibrant and diverse; and I hate the romanticization of street dogs and the "unconditionally forgive your abuse family members & then they'll reveal they've changed their ways" message. Does one outweigh another? I'm not sure.
Altered Carbon s1, television, 2018
100% there for the aesthetic alone. Unconvinced that the rest, the writing, the representation, is good. But it's indulgent AF cyberpunk.
The Good Place s1-2, television, 2016-2018
This is consistently superb: the pacing, the writing, the casting, the humor (and I hate humor!). It sincerely surprised me, in productive ways. It's one of those rare shows that gives me nothing to criticize. The only reason we haven't watched any of s3 is because I never watch things while they're airing.
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherood up to about episode 30?, anime, 2009
Perhaps I'm insufficiently versed, but this doesn't feel distinctly, obviously better than the old FMA anime; still enjoying it, and appreciate the whiplashy balance of humor to sudden grimness. Only paused this because it's hard for me to watch a lot of subs.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., film, 2017
Those playing along at home may remember that I've largely given up on Marvel universe on account of "not my thing." By all rights, this should be likewise. But Lindsay Ellis spoke on it convincingly enough that I made an exception, and I don't regret it. The throughline here of abuse and found families is sincerely well rendered—who knew! Hasn't really changed my mind re: Marvel, tho.
Some of Lost in Space, television, 2018
Enough to realize it was boring, and then an unfortunate little bit more.
Beauty and The Beast, film, 2017
Boring, bad CG, added nothing of value; but watchable I guess.
Dark s1, television, 2018
This has a phenomenal aesthetic and sense of place and set of images; the plot is profoundly tedious and I take issue with false rape accusation as narrative device. I was unsure after finishing if I'd watch s2, but with a few months of distance I am even less tempted.
Voltron: Legendary Defender s5-7, television, 2018
(We will probably have watched s8 by the end of the year.) I consistently enjoy this for its vivid science fantasy world and engaging character dynamics. It has too much filler, but the overall balance of humor to grim character growth is successful. Bury your gays was an obvious misstep which goes against everything this series has been aiming for in its casting; again, how does it balance? I'm not sure. But this remains popcorn watching & the only for-kids thing I've enjoyed lately.
Wynonna Earp s1-2, television, 2016-2017
A welcome mirror-twin to Supernatural; better representation, great camp, pretty, oh so pretty, pretty, and only as witty as a show of its type, but absolutely gay. Tumblr tags: #it's trash but no moreso than other shows of its kind; the special effects are ridiculous b/c SyFy #but it's the purest example of that 'indeterminate midwestern metrosexual redneck' aesthetic that I've found #everything is so overdesigned but in a grungy way! Bobo Del Ray's character design is a gift! the landscape is golden and long #and there's an abandoned homestead & dead trees in the background & and when in doubt: decorate with skulls #like a southern gothic playlist with those same 15 (beloved) songs come to life & coincidentally that's also the soundtrack #I want to LIVE THERE
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, television, 2018
I love how this is filmed, how stupidly excessive is its aesthetic. The writing is pretty trash, and these made-for-Netflix shows have got to figure out that the chance to make actually-hour-long episodes means that each episode should be more beefy. Shrug. Will continue to watch in the attempt to project myself into the sets.
Black Mirror s4, television, 2017
Never again will we have the San Junipero time. This season was trash, most seasons are trash for the same reason—obvious and/or reactive social commentary couched in slick but inconsistent styling. It did however prompt:
prompted by Black Mirror 4.5 "Metalhead" but absolutely not restricted to it; intersecting in some oblique way with the issues of bodies, BDSM, magical healing, and concepts of mortality in speculative settings—in the sense of:
"how does a speculative setting—a ‘more extreme' reality—alter our relationship with our bodies and minds? is it a metaphorical, exaggerated view of reality, or does the relationship change with new stimuli? what are the consequences; how do they reflect on real-world consequences?"
I don't have answers or a long list of examples for you. I don't actually know how intrusive thoughts function during trauma or similar high-stress (or prolonged stress) situations, and 5mins of googling didn't tell me. I do know that invasive thoughts span from avoidable to actionable, across numerous tones and types; they are as potentially varied as their speculative setting, and seem to me could up the stakes of prolonged survival: more opportunities to be destructive, greater/faster consequences.
on the flip side, in "Mother," published in Her Body and Other Parties, Machado uses invasive thoughts to the opposite effect, to ground a speculative concept back into reality—the vulnerable skull of an infant makes it real, despite the baby's fantastic/impossible/metaphorical origins.
intrusive thoughts are where I see the disconnect between my mental state and my daily life, in the sense that life generally goes on living—mundane, repetitive—even when the mind is in turmoil; but these thoughts are proof of such turmoil. I wonder would that would look like in a non-mundane life—or is even a speculative setting mundane to its residents? what format does an intrusive thought take when the variety of horrible things to think grows not just broader but—again engaging the conversation about magic and bodies—more feasible? would you become desensitized to "just feed yourself to the zombies" or would it be too easy to accidentally feed yourself to the zombies?
would this be productive to a narrative? could it be realized in a visual genre at all, since it seems to require interiority? would it be comforting or triggering to explore?
The Ritual, film, 2017
Good setting, good monster design, meh narrative, and the last outweighs.
it's a good thing The Ritual is only 90mins long because that's about as long as I would want to spend with that particular cast
and while it's a better than worst take on its character dynamics, but it's also not particularly ... much, theme-wise. there's too much disconnect between protagonist's character arc and monster backstory/speculative plot, which would be more okay if I liked the monster backstory, but I don't. the human element reduces it.
all I want is narratives about monsters bigger than ourselves, that dwarf and erase the human condition. you have a lot of unresolved issues regarding recent trauma? that's rough buddy but now neither you nor I care anymore, because everything is eclipsed by the discovery of something Greater, something More. maybe that's the character arc—and, sure, it's not "healthy" or easily transferred to the viewer, perhaps it's pure escapism: discover monsters; get eaten maybe; take the opportunity to escape the human condition. horror as optimistic nihilism.
& is it fair to be vaguely disappointed by one monster story for failing to fulfill my personal, specific dreams; no, probably, but I'll do it anyway.
anyway I was expecting more from the monster design given all the hype, but it is still good monster design. I am in both the show/don't show camps, I think both tropes are productive, but I do love a good full view of a monster. this one is a little wonky (I get the intended purpose of the hands, but they remain dinky little human hands; the hand/antlers are much better) & some of its final interactions with the protag are .... dumb..... but building an amorphous body, a changeable and dissonant body, which can still be pictured as a whole is an ambitious and engaging effort.
The Witch, film, 2015
The longer this sat with me, the more I liked it. The gritty tedium of the setting makes for a slow pace, but it's one of those films where the ending creeps up, builds up, and then revitalizes all the came before. Beautiful, too; well cast.
ETA: Over the Garden Wall, television, 2014
I don't think I loved this as much as most people do—it was still a little too slight, too funny for me—but what a phenomenal aesthetic and atmosphere; what a great thing to finally watch at exactly the Halloween times.
Killing Eve s1, television, 2018
I enjoyed the hell out of this. It doesn't have the same angle of indulgence as Hannibal, but 1) ladies and 2) the beats of humor/violence (as opposed to aesthetic/violence) add to the conversation, bring new things. Sandra Oh is phenomenal. A good show, will continue watching.
Some of Supernatural s13, television, 2017-2018
"Some of" being a sign that this season hasn't especially captured me, moreso even than the usual baseline of trash TV. I will finish it/the entire show eventually, now that we know it's ending.
Great British Bake Off, television
We watched & (for me) rewatched everything they have on Netflix. The Channel 4 switch suffers hugely, but the bad version of the best and perhaps only good reality show is still strong, and nothing equals this, nothing else is as perfectly soothing. I had a really shitty year and this helped me escape some of that, for which I'm grateful.
Skins Wars s1-3, television, 2014-2016
We watched this to try to fill a GBBO-shaped void, with minimal success. People making things good; American/reality TV bad. The competitive angle steals too much screentime from watching art being made. What really gets me is the financial angle, the "watching people be desperate for money as a form of entertainment" aspect; it's gross and disheartening and, after GBBO? gross and disheartening is the opposite of what I want.
Star Trek: Discovery, television, 2017-2018
I've been trying to fight the knee-jerk reaction of "change is bad" and "old things are better" (although Trek for me isn't just nostalgia—I rewatched them all [except Enterprise] within the last 5 years), and this certainly is watchable, but I'm unconvinced that it's good. Really strong cast; middling writing; weak aesthetic (so blue! the camera doesn't like it, my eyes don't like, it makes the universe so samey). & I feel like the desire to create a stronger, darker overarching story is not new to the Trek universe—is in fact DS9, and they should take pointers from it re: how to pace episodic and overarching. Also the Klingons are very bad. I dig that they speak in Klingon, but it's so slow & phonetic as to be glaring, and, again: work to bring depth to this race has been done! they should build on it, not undermine it! Discovery is fine and I don't regret that it exists, but it's not good, and I want good.