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I was reminded today that I haven't spoken on self-harm in a long time. (Well that comes out of the blue, yes?) I haven't mentioned the topic because for a while now, it hasn't been an active issue in my life. But let me back up for a moment, because for a while now I've been meaning to summarize my history with self-harm.
( Cut for potentially triggering but inexplicit discussions of self-harm, borderline eating disorders, and mental illness. )
This is part personal history and part public service announcement. It's been surprisingly unemotional to write, mostly because I am at peace with all of it now. But this topic will always be a part of my heart and as such, I am always willing to discuss it. Seriously. Poke me out of the blue to talk about self-injury concerns or to ask what the experience was like for me, and I will be happy to talk about it all. Or comment here, even! But if I can put one thing out there for everyone to read it is this: See self-injury for what it is. It's not shameful, it's not over-dramatic, it's not even the biggest problem. It is a valid, real symptom which indicates a valid, real issue somewhere behind it. It is pain, indicating pain.
And that's all. It's not something for angsty teens, not something that's only meaningful if it leaves a certain number of scars, not something that should be closeted away or met with despair. It is a painful symptom. It needs the same treatment that you'd give a stabbing pain in your knee: an investigation to try to determine its source.
Treating that underlying source, now that's a different kettle of fish and a different (no doubt far-off) post. And because self-injury is addictive, it can be a troublesome habit to kick and may never truly disappear. Be safe, be careful, and remember that confronting with the root cause is always the biggest, most effective step you can take.
If you are, were, or may be a self-harmer, I send you my undying love. Whether we're strangers or close friends, we are siblings of the heart in this matter and so I send mine to you. It you know a self-harmer, I send my support and gratitude. It can be a scary thing to see, but your willingness to accept it for precisely what it is can make a world of difference.
( Cut for potentially triggering but inexplicit discussions of self-harm, borderline eating disorders, and mental illness. )
This is part personal history and part public service announcement. It's been surprisingly unemotional to write, mostly because I am at peace with all of it now. But this topic will always be a part of my heart and as such, I am always willing to discuss it. Seriously. Poke me out of the blue to talk about self-injury concerns or to ask what the experience was like for me, and I will be happy to talk about it all. Or comment here, even! But if I can put one thing out there for everyone to read it is this: See self-injury for what it is. It's not shameful, it's not over-dramatic, it's not even the biggest problem. It is a valid, real symptom which indicates a valid, real issue somewhere behind it. It is pain, indicating pain.
And that's all. It's not something for angsty teens, not something that's only meaningful if it leaves a certain number of scars, not something that should be closeted away or met with despair. It is a painful symptom. It needs the same treatment that you'd give a stabbing pain in your knee: an investigation to try to determine its source.
Treating that underlying source, now that's a different kettle of fish and a different (no doubt far-off) post. And because self-injury is addictive, it can be a troublesome habit to kick and may never truly disappear. Be safe, be careful, and remember that confronting with the root cause is always the biggest, most effective step you can take.
If you are, were, or may be a self-harmer, I send you my undying love. Whether we're strangers or close friends, we are siblings of the heart in this matter and so I send mine to you. It you know a self-harmer, I send my support and gratitude. It can be a scary thing to see, but your willingness to accept it for precisely what it is can make a world of difference.
