juushika: Photograph of a row of books on a library shelf (Books Once More)
Title: Catherine, Called Birdy
Author: Karen Cushman
Narrator: Jenny Sterlin
Published: Recorded Books, 1996 (1994)
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 200
Total Page Count: 522,235
Text Number: 1900
Read Because: reread as per review, audiobook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Our protagonist is thirteen in 1290, navigating life as the marriageable but spirited daughter of minor nobleman. This is a reread from my youth, but all I remembered going in was vague positive impressions, maybe that I liked the diary format. As an adult reader: I love the diary format. I'm a sucker for a justified first-person narrative, and no better justification than a journal spiced by cultural minutia and calendar-building elements, like marking time through Saint's Days. The details are dubiously accurate I'm sure, but it grounds the narrative in its setting; and, appropriately, Birdy doesn't manage some miraculous escape from her society, but finds a measure of safety and hope within it. Along the spectrum of period pieces where the heroine struggles with her contemporary social restrictions, this one is less rather than more egregious. I don't like the secondary theme of finding the hidden depths of/forgiveness for abusive family members, but it's a prevalent arc in YA, so I can overlook it. Sincerely a fun read; I'm glad I came back to this one.
juushika: A black and white photo of an ink pen (Writing)
Title: Unmask Alice: LSD, Satanic Panic, and the Imposter Behind the World's Most Notorious Diaries
Author: Rick Emerson
Narrator: Gabra Zackman
Published: BenBella Books, 2022
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 385
Total Page Count: 516,190
Text Number: 1875
Read Because: this review, audiobook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: The extensive character assassination based on what feels like embarrassing but petty flaws like self-aggrandizement becomes increasingly justified as those flaws are revealed to be the definitive elements of some infamously falsified, culturally significant books. This is thorough, which sometimes means belabored, and Emerson's approach to citing sources sucks; the historical context and room for the redeeming qualities is thoughtful; Emerson's voice is conversational to the point of obnoxious and muckrakey. Fascinating but infuriating, and not always on account of the offenses of Beatrice Sparks.

Personal thoughts. )


Title: The Day of the Triffids (Triffids Book 1)
Author: John Wyndham
Published: RosettaBooks, 2010 (1951)
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 245
Total Page Count: 516,435
Text Number: 1876
Read Because: reading more of the author after enjoying Chocky, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Stories about how the world falls apart are rarely "enjoyable," and appropriately I didn't enjoy this. Wyndham's read on the apocalypse runs into predictable pitfalls, namely ableism and sexism; Golden Age SF often manages to be forward thinking for its time and profoundly trapped in that time, and rejecting vs. preserving marriage is the locus of that conflict here.

But this is almost cozy in its apocalypse. Like War of the Worlds, it's a devastatingly large event explored on a personal level (a necessary focus, as the triffids are pretty boring baddies); unlike almost any apocalypse narrative I can think of, it's about agriculture, about life after the grocery stores are looted, about the labor of rebuilding society. When I read this, it was an interesting touchstone in the genre but not my thing; but, in the months since then, I've thought about it with surprisingly regularity, every time I've encountered another apocalypse story utterly unconcerned with farming.


Title: A Little Princess
Author: Frances Hodgson Burnett
Narrator: Johanna Ward
Published: Blackstone Publishing, 2012 (1905)
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 240
Total Page Count: 516,675
Text Number: 1877
Read Because: childhood reread, audiobook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: This is no The Secret Garden, but of course the comparison is unfair, especially since I have nostalgia for one but not the other. This is bigger, with an almost campy contrivance and predictability, as the reader is let in on secrets far ahead of the protagonist. But that's just what grew on me: Burnett's willingness to intrude on the narrative, to explicate and to remove the veil of suspense just when it grows too thin, is great fun, the narrator almost a character itself, tamping down the sentimentality. I love a story of isolated-but-romanticized suffering, and self-romanticization certainly fulfills that niche; I probably would have liked this better as a young reader but, hey, better late than never.

(I have a trope tag for desert island paradises which is small but one hell of a vibe, and this is the first addition in a while.)
juushika: Gif of a Bebe, a tiny doll from the anime Puella Magi Madoka Magica, eating a slice of cheesecake (Bebe)
Title: The Drifting Classroom
Author: Kazuo Umezu
Translator: Sheldon Drzka
Published: VIZ Media, 2019-2020 (1972-1974)
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 2120 (190+188+208+192+192+192+192+192+192+192+192)
Total Page Count: 477,730
Text Number: 1680-1690
Read Because: mining digital library offerings, therefore: ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: An elementary school is ripped from preset day Japan and stranded in the desert landscape of the future. This is a classic horror manga, and I spent much of my reading time reminding myself to judge it in that context. Its structure is surprisingly episodic, which allows for unhinged creativity that can result in memorably horrific elements. The overarching plot is tedious, frequently concerned with interpersonal fighting which is less interesting than the speculative setting. But I like the ending, which resolves to be hopeful and responsible where most eco-horror would prefer defeatism. The real dealbreaker for me is the art and the tone. It's so abrasive: stiff movement and endless panels of children open-mouthed yelling and/or crying. The series desperately wants for some tonal variation, and there's so much potential for that in the childcare, food preparation, and other mundane elements of survival - all elements delegated to the female realm, therefore shunted offscreen. To critique a 1970s manga of sexism is so obvious as to be pointless, but - this would be objectively better were it less sexist!

Anyway. I didn't like this and wouldn't recommend it. But I did finish it. It's not without redeeming qualities, and I appreciate its place in genre history.


Title: After School Nightmare
Author: Setona Mizushiro
Published: 2004-2007
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 1980 (200+200+200+200+200+200+200+177+200+200)
Total Page Count: 479,710
Text Number: 1691-1700
Read Because: fan of the author
Review: Our protagonist is an intersex high schooler taking an afterschool course where he and select classmates enter a shared dream to compete for the opportunity to graduate. The protagonist's qualification for graduation rests on deciding which gender he wants to be and, concurrently, if he wants to be loved "as a man" or "as a woman." Obviously, treating intersex as a speculative condition and a problem to be solved isn't without issue. But as the narrative complicates its own simplification. See as example the classmate who assumes our protagonist is just wrestling with homosexual tendencies: simultaneously the narrative is pressuring him to become either a straight boy or straight girl, but that just makes him an intersex bi disaster with a complicated gender identity, which is great.

The art is okay, albeit less refined than the mangaka's later work. The dreamlike premise makes for tortured plot developments (looking particularly at the male love interest's backstory) but I adore the overall tone: teenage romance and gothic speculative nightmares, heightened and iddy.

I'm just torn on the final reveal. Not for the usual reasons: the purpose of graduation is adequately broadcasted without being obvious; thematically it's tied to plot and character arcs. But it's also the worst part of those arcs: it's the insistence of choosing a stable mainstream identity in order to become "real." So ... an interesting series! I love this mangaka, so I came in with unfairly high expectations which were moderately met. This is often weakest where it's most ambitious, but I appreciate the larger-than-life tone of the speculative framework. What really sells it for me is the quieter moments, the romantic drama and slow character growth and unexpected friendships. And how queer it is.


Title: Paradise Kiss
Author: Ai Yazawa
Translator: Maya Rosewood
Published: Vertical Comics, 2013 (1999-2003)
Rating: 5 of 5
Page Count: 860
Total Page Count: 480,570
Text Number: 1701
Read Because: reread, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: A high school senior studying for exams falls in with an unlikely crowd when she's scouted to model for a fashion school's senior project. I've read the manga three? times and watched the anime twice and the live action film once; I've spent a lot of time crying over Parakiss, and can only be semi-coherent in articulating my love of this series. What struck me on this reread is how short the timescale of the inciting action is - a big chunk of the series occurs over just a few days. It's so convincing: A transformative whirlwind of events. Obsessive, compelling, flawed. Unstainable and unsustained. I adore that as a model for first love. Contrasting a multitude of narratives where first love is the lasting and only true love, what lasts here is the impact it has on the protagonist's identity.

Also the art is beautiful - the anime is great, but given the focus on fashion this really shines as a manga, which can be much more elaborate. The tone is beautifully balanced between bittersweet and funny, with fourth wall breaks that are just the right side of obnoxious. The scale is beautifully balanced, too, big sweeping events occurring on a charmingly human scale. I love the cast and how queer everyone is. It's dated, sure - in the treatment of the trans character; in George as a depraved bisexual - but never dismissive. The portrayal of sexual awakening and identify formation is just so messy, diverse, authentic.

And, each time, the ending gets me so hard. Anyway, I love this manga. I tore through this reread. I appreciate that there's now an omnibus bind-up - this reads beautifully in one long deep dive.
juushika: Drawing of a sleeping orange cat (Default)
In 2022, I reread 57 books. Below are not 57 reread notes: some I hadn't previously reviewed, so they got "real" reviews instead; some, mostly the manga, are multi-volume series; a few are simply here unaccounted for. I like to chart my rereads, my changing relationship with texts ... but rereads are also an escape from the self-imposed responsibility of a cogent review, and over this long, busy year of not wanting to communicate, I took the occasional break and just ... didn't record anything.

That's okay. It was still a year of phenomenal rereads, and I still plan to prioritize rereads for the indefinite future. Honestly, one of my new favorite parts of the reading process is when I slide a book directly from my To Be Read list and on to my To Be Reread list. Past-me has great taste in my favorite books.

These appear in order read.


Alternate Realities, C.J. Cherryh )

Imperial Radch series, Ann Leckie )

Bloodchild and Other Stories, Octavia Butler )

Tokyo Babylon and X, CLAMP )

Amatka, Karin Tidbeck )

Black Iris, Elliot Wake )

Strange Grace, Tessa Gratton )

A Deadly Education, Naomi Novik )

A Phantom Lover, Vernon Lee )

Piranesi, Susanna Clarke )
juushika: Screen capture of the Farplane from Final Fantasy X: a surreal landscape of waterfalls and flowers. (Anime/Game)
Ancient (2007) review of the entire series here (do not click) (I mean, you can, but I abhor my old reviews), but I'd never before reviewed them individually. I had a pretty similar rereading experience—still got pulled in by the same section—but appreciated breaking down the individual books in order to see more clearly what I find memorable (turns out it's largely the atmosphere built in the first book and propagated in the second and third combined with the gut-punch tonal shift/crying-a-lot character arc in the fourth). FLB showed me my first ever trans character (I think in Girl Goddess #9, and that the same couple reappears in Missing Angel Juan? probably something I should add to my reread queue), and nothing will quite meet that subversive, wondrous feeling, that sense of awakening—this thing framed as a mystery, as a secret (and which was, of course, culturally taboo), but also celebrated, a gift, literally in the narrative a source of ability, of possibility; but I can see that ethos throughout her work, even if some of it (see: magical Native American) hasn't aged particularly well.


Title: Weetzie Bat (Weetzie Bat Book 1)
Author: Francesca Lia Block
Published: HarperTeen, 2009 (1989)
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 105
Total Page Count: 394,275
Text Number: 1491
Read Because: reread, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Weetzie Bat meets her best friend in high school, and together they begin of the rest of their lives in Los Angeles. Sometimes I have the urge to reread Block and nothing else will do, but with each reread comes doubt: is the writing simplistic? is the setting of fading plastic & palm trees too much, or not at all my style? But it was the same passage, now and in my 2007 reread, that dispelled my concerns:

Fifi's house was a Hollywood cottage with one of those fairy-tale roofs that looked like someone has spilled silly sand. There were roses and lemon trees in the garden and two bedrooms inside the house—one painted rose and the other aqua. The house was filled with plaster Jesus statues, glass butterfly ashtrays, paintings of clowns, and many kinds of coasters. Weetzie and Dirk had always loved the house.


This is a dream, glances into a messy fairytale life rich with heady emotions. It's deceptive YA, with a voice that feels too young and content that feels too old. It rereads beautifully, because the content ages up (I certainly appreciate the depictions of grief and of the AIDS crisis more now than I ever did) but mostly because there's nothing else quite like it: nothing but this series quite fulfills the craving for this series, and it can still invoke in me that sense of wonder that I find so memorable.


Witch Baby (Weetzie Bat Book 2) )


Cherokee Bat and the Goat Guys (Weetzie Bat Book 3) )


Title: Missing Angel Juan (Weetzie Bat Book 4)
Author: Francesca Lia Block
Published: HarperTeen, 1995 (1993)
Rating: 4.5 of 5
Page Count: 145
Total Page Count: 398,875
Text Number: 1507
Read Because: rereading the series, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Witch Baby trails Angel Juan to New York, and finds Charlie Bat's empty apartment and lonely ghost. This is my favorite book in the series. Witch Baby is the best character, of course, and the switch into her first person is beautiful—a coming-of-age story about holding on and letting go which is well-suited to her prickly personality. I like Block's New York and the textural contrast it offers to LA; diversity is a running theme in this series (albeit imperfectly rendered) and it's in joyful profusion here. I'm a sucker for a Jewish backstory. Beautiful, brokenhearted, evocative; the antagonist I find less necessary, but that's a minor part.


Baby Be-Bop (Weetzie Bat Book 5) )
juushika: Photograph of a black cat named October, peering out of a white fleece cave (October)
Title: Qoheleth (Post-Self Book 1)
Author: Madison Scott-Clary
Published: 2020
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 450
Total Page Count: 389,425
Text Number: 1459
Read Because: alterhuman book club pick; available for free in browser
Review: In the near future, implants have made virtual reality more available, powerful, and immersive than ever—but a few users are becoming Lost, trapped in an "online" state. Two hundred year later, the descendants of this technology live in an online world. I'm surprised by how well I liked this! Which seems to damn with faint praise, but I think I'm allowed to be skeptical of a self-published book about transhumanism and furries. And this has some typos (at least in the web versiond), but it's edited, legible ... and pretty great, actually.

The dual timelines and numerous PoVs create a mystery around the Lost, but the reveals are secondary. This has drawbacks, building a lot of momentum without much payoff, but it also turns the focus to more interesting arenas: technology, bodies, identities, self-conception, and iterated consciousness, but surprisingly well-grounded in a fully realized central character and delicate physical (sometimes "physical") detail, and with a fundamentally gentle tone. Not all of the themes land—the titular motivation in particular feels talky and borderline disconnected from the rest of the book—but the general gist is thoughtful and compelling and hugely relevant to my interests; I feel seen in the protagonist in a way I rarely do in literature. As it turns out, transhumanist furries and terminally online subcultures are, actually, the exact right frameworks for exploring these speculative concepts.


Title: The Sisters of Straygarden Place
Author: Hayley Chewins
Published: Candlewick Press, 2020
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 210
Total Page Count: 390,150
Text Number: 1463
Read Because: mentioned by Marissa Lingen, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Since their parents left, Mayhap and her sisters have lived alone at Straygarden Place, a lavish, magical manor and an oasis in a sea of towering silver grass. This setting is whimsical, magical, lyrical, mysterious, dangerous, and has a sort of Valente's Fairyland/Frances Hardinge/Katherine Rundell vibe; as a consequence the first half of this enraptured me. But it's a short book, which helps contain the whimsy but also makes for a hasty plot. I can forgive the convenience with which clues are dropped, but I'm disappointed by how quickly the character arcs find resolution. I wanted this to be five stars! It's not, but it's still very much to my taste and I was happy to spend time here. (The names, on the other hand, are 5 stars easy.)


Title: The Long Walk
Author: Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman
Published: Scribner, 2016 (1979)
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 345
Total Page Count: 390,495
Text Number: 1464
Read Because: reread: I finally watched Squid Game and my love of deadly games has been rekindled; ebook borrwoed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Every year, 100 teenage boys complete in the Long Walk, a nonstop trek across the Midwest where only the last walker walking survives. This is actually a reread, but my shitty old review is from 2008 so I disown it; in the interim I've stopped reading King but boy howdy do a love a deadly game, and this is a great one. There are touches of King I wish to excise: how he handles characterization, especially backstory, through a distinct group of strange and thematically convenient recurring flashbacks; the always-be-punching-down approach he has to the anxiety of bodies and sex. But it's gripping, grueling, all about death drives and queer longing, a little bit of clumsy dystopia but a much more convincing argument for capitalism as a deadly game unto itself—everything I want from this trope in a slim (relatively speaking, that is) little package.
juushika: Photograph of a row of books on a library shelf (Books Once More)
Crossposting from a rare Tumblr appearance, in reply to a post about comfort rereads:

I love this topic so much. I've always been passionate about rereads, but I feel like I let them fall by the wayside under the drive to read & record ever more new books; but these last few years I've been rereading a lot, and a lot of it is comfort rereads because sadtime in Juu life.

Surprising no one that's ever talked to me, the vast majority of my comfort rereads are "chewy, indulgent, weird interpersonal dynamics, probably with some sort of strong atmosphere." Robins's Maledicte is my favorite, but also Otsuichi's Goth (in all formats), Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Tartt's The Secret History, a bunch of boys love manga, McGreevy's Hemlock Grove ... basically anything that hits the overlap of unusually intimate relationship + favorite is something I've reread or will reread. It's hands down my favorite ... trope? genre? defining characteristic, and id-fic that I've read before has already been vetted for (subjective) quality so I can switch off my analytical brain. It makes for guaranteed absorbing escapism—like a daydream, but better.

There are books that fit this metric that I haven't turned to for rereads, and most of them aren't genre fiction. Genre feels more easily consumable, probably has a stronger and more engaging atmosphere, and may do more fun/exaggerated/tropey things with the relationship dynamic in addition to being complex/chewy/unsettling.

My other major reread category is children's fantasy series, particularly Harry Potter, Narnia, His Dark Materials, Redwall, and Valente's Fairyland. For all that I'm generally series-resistant, in rereads I love the comfort of more—that I can select a favorite while benefiting from the context of the larger series, or that I have an entire series to escape into book by book. Not all of these are nostalgia rereads, but a lot of them are, and literally growing up alongside them is part of my relationship with the text. I love the particular tropes of middle grade fantasy, and I love how middle grade ages up with the reader—it feels like it hits a different (read: less annoying) vibe than YA fantasy, and when the reader ages to adulthood it grows even richer. That's why Harry Potter is still on this list, despite Rowling: I find that rereading while author-critical is a form of aging with the text.

I totally get the vibe of hopefulness, of a fundamentally compassionate gaze. I have a lot of overlapping favorites, and want to reread them, but wouldn't pick them up as comfort rereads. I prefer escapism; something that leans into or, perish the thought, answers my emotional vulnerability would hit too close to home. But children's fantasy makes a lot of space for kindness, so functions in a similar way. I get emotional catharsis, but with the softening haze of nostalgia and the growth from perpetual rereads, and that works out pretty well for me.
juushika: Screen capture of the Farplane from Final Fantasy X: a surreal landscape of waterfalls and flowers. (Anime/Game)
As with 2020, I really meant to post this in batches or at least quarters, or halves; and really did not. I reread 60+ books, so I assumed there was a lot missing from this list—but it turns out that the other rereads were books I'd never reviewed before, so they ended up folded up in my normal reviews. The only exception is: elisions/groupings mentioned below; Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Spell Sword/The Forbidden Tower, because I'm not up to unpacking the whether/how of separating the work from this author; and a lot of toki pona texts that I reread in whole or in part.

The obvious trend in 2021 rereads was comfort reads. Sometimes I reread to see how my reading of a book has changed; these I reread because I already knew I loved them, for their energy or for one specific trope or for their unusually intimate relationship/poly dynamics/queer coding. I wrote about this here:

Surprising no one that's ever talked to me, the vast majority of my comfort rereads are "chewy, indulgent, weird interpersonal dynamics, probably with some sort of strong atmosphere." [...] Basically anything that hits the overlap of unusually intimate relationship + favorite is something I've reread or will reread. It's hands down my favorite ... trope? genre? defining characteristic, and id-fic that I've read before has already been vetted for (subjective) quality so I can switch off my analytical brain. It makes for guaranteed absorbing escapism—like a daydream, but better.


That was 2021 in a nutshell, and so help me if I don't want to do the same for 2022.


Silently and Very Fast, Catherynne M. Valente )

Alphabet of Thorn, Patricia A. McKillip )

The Tea Dragon Society, Kay O'Neill  )

Dreadful Skin, Cherie Priest )

The Summer Prince, Alaya Dawn Johnson )

A Scanner Darkly, Philip K. Dick )

Dust, Elizabeth Bear )

Chill, Elizabeth Bear )

Grail, Elizabeth Bear )

Grass, Sheri S. Tepper )

Annihilation, Jeff VanderMeer )

Dracula, Bram Stoker )

The Vampyre, John Polidori )

Ghosts in the House!, Kazuno Kohara )

Coraline, Neil Gaiman )

Hemlock Grove, Brian McGreevey )

Lives of the Monster Dogs, Kirsten Bakis )

Red Dragon, Thomas Harris )

Xenogensis series and Fledgling, Octavia Butler )
juushika: A black and white photo of an ink pen (Writing)
Title: Rebecca
Author: Daphne du Maurier
Published: 1938
Rating: 5 of 5
Page Count: 420
Total Page Count: 364,485
Text Number: 1328
Read Because: reread; ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library but I own it in paperback
Review: This is as much a dream as Manderley: beautiful, unbelievable, privileged, stumbled upon, an exuberance of flowers which growing cloying, claustrophobic, finally nightmarish as identities are mirrored and overshadowed, as actions are compelled. I love warm-weather gothic for just that vibe, and this is so gothic—the laborious slow burn of the first half, the intense thriller of the second half, the blatant and utterly effective gimmick of the unnamed protagonist and the titular Rebecca. It's manipulative, seductive, compellingly characterized; Mrs. Danvers holds a particularly special place in my heart. This has been a favorite since I was in high school and rereads never disappoint.

Somehow I assumed that I'd never reviewed this before, which is doubly untrue... )


Title: Golem
Author: David Wisniewski
Published: Clarion Books, 1996
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 30
Total Page Count: 369,090
Text Number: 1354
Read Because: mentioned n this discussion of scary Jewish children's books, but I finally picked it up because it came up in a Jacob Geller video; hardback borrowed from the Wilsonville Public Library
Review: It's difficult to imagine reading this in a group setting or to a child because the intricate papercuts demand to be poured over by one's own—they're claustrophobically dense and brutally crisp; the white core at the cut edges of intense red, orange, and brown paper almost feels like an aggressive sharpening filter. It defines the tone: things with are vast, sacred, awesome, unknowable, and mournful seen with too much clarity. What an experience! I'm always on the lookout for Jewish picture books(/Jewish picture book authors) and scary picture books, and this is a goldmine of both.


Title: Burnt Offerings
Author: Robert Marasco
Published: Valancourt Books, 2015 (1973)
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 255
Total Page Count: 371,065
Text Number: 1363
Read Because: numerous mentions by Gothic Charm School, ebook borrowed from the Multnomah County Library
Review: Like many early and/or formative examples of a genre, this feels cliché in retrospect: a young urban family escapes the crowded city for a vast, decrepit summer home; the home consumes its occupants to sustain itself and revive its wealth and beauty, which is charmingly literal and elicits some great imagery, especially in the hum behind the occupied bedroom door and in the tedious but occasionally very effective level of material detail.

It doesn't compare to haunted houses I love more. The tension between the fear of being and the drive to be consumed by the home hinges on materialism but offers limited examination of class anxiety; and while it's natural that a haunted house must compel its inhabitants, there's just not enough autonomy for me to buy the ultimate surrenders. So thematically it's as trite as the premise: all the familiar components are there, but the examination isn't particularly diverse or robust. Nonetheless this grew on me as it went on; not a must-read for the genre, not a particular favorite, but satisfyingly adequate with some fun touches.
juushika: Screen capture of the Farplane from Final Fantasy X: a surreal landscape of waterfalls and flowers. (Anime/Game)
Title: The Tea Dragon Festival (Tea Dragon Book 2)
Author: Kay O'Neill
Published: Oni Press, 2019
Rating: 3.5 of 5
Page Count: 135
Total Page Count: 367,990
Text Number: 1345
Read Because: fan of the author, borrowed from the Wilsonville Public Library
Review: While out foraging, a villager stumbles on upon a sleeping dragon guardian. This takes place across a single emerald-green summer, which isn't a setting I personally vibe with but makes an interesting contrast to the previous book's snapshots from each season. It localizes the atmosphere, and O'Neill's art shines in the landscapes and rich tones. But the narrative doesn't capitalize on this approach—rather, the larger cast and episodic chapters make for a lot of small, neat resolutions. It's appropriate for a children's book, but as an adult reader it feels repetitive. This didn't grab me in the way I hoped and I find the first book more affecting, but it's still gorgeous, just the right sort of twee, and achingly earnest—in its diversity, its escapism, its kindness.


Title: Bridge to Terabithia
Author: Katherine Paterson
Published: HarperTrophy, 1987 (1977)
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 130
Total Page Count: 368,535
Text Number: 1350
Read Because: reread after the book came up in When did we stop caring that elves aren't real? discussion post by [personal profile] rachelmanija, warped AF paperback from my personal library
Review: On the one hand, what was I thinking in rereading a book about grief while grieving? On the other hand, it makes obvious sense.

I loved this book so much as a kid—I thought it was magical and beautifully tragic. It's still familiar almost line for line, but the magic of Terabithia is larger in my memory, and I don't think that's a flaw; rather, it speaks exactly to childhood's ability to imagine and extrapolate: one eerie moment in the woods becomes an entire haunted kingdom. (Also a surprise on this reread: so much fat shaming, just a lot of interpersonal pettiness all around, rather less welcome and apparently unaware that it exists in a narrative about the perils of (not) fitting in.) The tragedy is more strongly foreshadowed than I noticed back then, and the grieving process is accelerated in a way that makes for a cathartic tragedy for a melodramatic kid. But it's also cathartic melodrama for a grieving adult: I hope to build beauty from loss, too; meanwhile, I'm content with the messiness of Jesse's grief, impolite and muddled and profoundly relatable, but forgiven by the narrative and by the other characters.


Title: Brother/Sister
Author: Sean Olin
Published: Razorbill, 2011
Rating: 1.5 of 5
Page Count: 240
Total Page Count: 368,775
Text Number: 1351
Read Because: on this list, borrowed from OpenLibrary
Review: Siblings, left to fend for themselves by their deadbeat mom, recount the series of events which lead them to murder. Let's be upfront, this is trash—a thriller with opposing unreliable narrators, wildly escalating tension, an unusual sibling bond that threatens towards incest, and a twist in the final paragraphs. What makes trash "good" is flexible—the twist, for example, is a fun stinger despite that it's somehow both predictable and insubstantial.

...But this isn't good trash. It's awfully concerned with inanities that derail the tension (and some of them miss the mark in particularly bizarre ways, like the p. 53 reference to "PS3 game cartridges" which do not, in fact, exist). And then the tension ramps at a hilarious speed, but events happen off page and emotions are clumsily rendered. The testimony-style narrative is a fun concept but the voices are ridiculous. It's brief and readable, sometimes fun (but sometimes for the wrong reasons), but it flubs the claustrophobic compulsion and car-crash spectacle that would make it trashy but satisfying.
juushika: Photograph of a stack of books, with one lying open (Books)
It occurred to me intermittently in 2020 that if I reread books, I don't need to write full reviews of them—and reviews are one of the things that burned me out in reading 370+ books the year prior. This was successful! Except that I love rereads and generally write at least updated notes to my reviews—less formal, with less effort to be objective, but reflective of my changing relationship with a text. I love to see how I change as a reader and how/if the text ages with me; I'm interested in what I focus on when I'm already familiar with the plot, and to see which parts of the plot I forget; I admire even the lessons of the suck fairy.

...And I'll gather those those notes into batches, I thought! And then they kept gathering...! And then the year ran out and I'd still posted none!

Thus these are many reread notes from 2020. There are a number of oversights—mostly books I didn't review the first time I read them, probably because I loved them too much, and then failed to review the second time I read them, because I still loved them and had grown intimidated. That's a shitty reason not to talk about a book, but here we are. Also I reread Harry Potter and I'm not up to talking about that particular suck fairy--but I'm grateful for the Witch, Please podcast returning to shoulder some of that burden.

I hope for more rereads (and more timely posts) in 2021; I'd particular like to revisit some favorites from the last few years, to see what my longterm impressions are.


Mossflower, Brian Jacques )

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin )

Watchtower (Chronicles of Tornor Book 1), Elizabeth A. Lynn )

The Dancers of Arun (Chronicles of Tornor Book 2), Elizabeth A. Lynn )

Blood and Chocolate, Annette Curtis Klause )

Foundling (Monster Blood Tattoo Book 1), D.M. Cornish )

Lamplighter (Monster Blood Tattoo Book 2), D.M. Cornish )

Palimpsest, Catherynne M. Valente )

Forbidden, Tabitha Suzuma (with bonus thoughts on antecedents) )

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson )

Melusine (Doctrine of Labyrinths Book 1), Sarah Monette )

The Virtu (Doctrine of Labyrinths Book 2), Sarah Monette )

The Mirador (Doctrine of Labyrinths Book 3), Sarah Monette )

Corambis (Doctrine of Labyrinths Book 4), Sarah Monette )

Threshold, Caitlin R. Kiernan )

I Am a Witch's Cat, Harriet Muncaster )

Goth, Otsuichi )

White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi )

Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite )

The Monster of Elendhaven, Jennifer Giesbrecht )
juushika: Drawing of a sleeping orange cat (I should have been born a cat)
The bulk of rereading Cherryh's Rider at the Gate was full of surreal self-doubt, like: why didn't I love this book the first time? why wasn't it the best of the best, top-tier bond animal trope, favorite Cherryh & favorite book for life? These questions got answers by the end:

[Mild spoilers for CJ Cherryh's Rider at the Gate and Forty Thousand in Gehenna, as well as an extensive conversation about the bond animal trope < that's a TV Tropes link if you'd like a refresher.]

What doesn't work! What really, really does! An enthusiastic essay about the subtext of bond animals! )
juushika: Photograph of a stack of books, with one lying open (Books)
I originally posted this on Tumblr, but it belongs on my rereads tag, aka my favorite tag in the history of all tags.



I’m doing another co-read with Missy, George Orwell’s 1984, a reread for both of us. He read it in school, and hasn’t reread it since then; I read it ages ago and many times since—but not in the last few years, so I suppose I was due.

My copy is inherited/gently stolen from my mother, and was published in 1961; there’s a typo on page 17 ("her sweep supple waist") and pencil notes on the first page, an about the author, to underline Orwell’s name and list "Winston—the everyman; Julia—the everywoman"; it has that distinct almost-musty scent of used books of this specific page weight and quality and era; it once sold for 95 cents; I remember reading it as a … preteen? young teen? while accompanying someone else’s trip to a college campus, and feeling very smug that I read literary canon of my own volition & and that’s why I, too, would belong at college some day.

It’s impossible for me to have a discrete experience with the book, to judge any sort of objective or relative quality or how it’s aged (objectively, relatively); I’m still tied up in that early encounter, because what I took away wasn’t the value of literary canon—rather, it was that the Important, Classic novels I would one day read for school* were also speculative; that genre was literature. It was the first time I encountered that overlap, between "real" books and speculative books. As speculative books go, it’s the definitive opposite of fun, even though dystopias have their own "what if" hook; it’s a weird book to memorize, to fondly recognize all these scenes were people are miserable, miserable in grindy petty banal ways atop the high-concept stuff. But there’s a perfect fondness: the velvet-smooth worn paperback, that distinctive scent, returning to a novel that literally changed me as a reader.

* I never did read it in school, but I did do projects comparing it to other dystopic novels!
juushika: Screen capture of the Farplane from Final Fantasy X: a surreal landscape of waterfalls and flowers. (Anime/Game)
I just finished rereading this! I frequently start lists of media-mentioned-in books I love, and now that I'm making those lists on OneNote via my phone, it's remarkably easier to complete, edit, and publish them! Bless. So:


Media and pop culture mentioned in The Cipher by Kathe Koja
(In order of appearance, except where references reoccur; including just about all media, but probably not exhaustive.)

From the epigraph: “Mukade”, Shikatsube no Magao (poem); Rick Lieder (author)
Wise Blood, Flannery O'Conner (novel); later, “The Enduring Chill”, Flannery O'Conner (short story)
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll (mentioned multiple times, including: the Rabbit Hole, the White Queen)
Artists: Paul Klee, Francis Bacon, Hieronymus Bosch; The Garden of Earthly Delights, Hieronymus Bosch (mentioned in specific later)
The Twilight Zone (television)
Weekly World News (tabloid)
Typhoid Mary
Xanadu
Tabu (perfume) (some aspects of this list are weirdly exhaustive)
Films: Streetgirls II, Dead Giveaway, Dogs Gone Wild (cursory searching and common sense indicate these are fictional); later, also fictional: Booby Prizes, Mommy’s Little Massacre
Faces of Death, dir. Conan LeCilaire (film)
Wild Kingdom (television)
Art Now (magazine)
Artists: Caldwell (can’t pin down who this is), Richard deVore (Malcom’s mask is compared to these)
“Borscht Belt (Jewish comedy) parody of Hamlet (Shakespeare) doing humble”
Pied Piper
The New Testament: Peter on the water; the Old Testament: Shadrach
Romper Room (television)
Author: Ben Hecht; in the final epigraph: “Love is a hole in the heart.”
Vulcan (Roman mythology)
Cinderella
(Obliquely) Inferno, Dante Alighieri
Phantom of the Opera(’s face and mask)
“Saints and idiots, angels and children.” (“It’s a quote, you dipshit.” From where? I don’t know! Enlighten me.)


I started recording media mentioned in books because I'm a dork because, as I may have said about 40 times, using narratives to create or explain your narrative is my modus operandi and thus my favorite thing to see in narratives. (Narrative-ception.) There's a danger of creating self-referential and -congratulatory recursive narratives that require googling rather than reading because without immediate knowledge of the referenced material you're in the dark. That's occasionally lampshaded, particularly in books where the references are fictional and their excess is intentional (the navelgazing of House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski; the aesthetic and plotty footnotes of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Susanna Clarke).

But, more often, narratives about narratives do one or both of these things:

The references create a palate. I've described The Cipher's atmosphere and aesthetic as "thriftstore decadence" and the characters as "gritty dirty poor horror-kids," but what describes it better is the book's references: Alice's rabbithole as metaphor for the Funhole, the grotesque art prints cut from art magazines, Flannery O'Conner's heartless black humor and the parody-titled sensationalist films; the combination of sleazy and Weird is never meant to be pleasant, but it has as strong an atmosphere as the most stylized, idealized fiction.

and/or

The narrative not only extends itself to contain the referenced material, but builds a whole greater than the sum of the references. Reader, I adore this: texts played against each other, narratives that address the reader/writer/character meta-relationship. This was what made Fire and Hemlock, Dianna Wynne Jones, so exceptional. Polly spends most of the novel internalizing, creating herself around Tom Lynn, but he also challenges her when she merely regurgitates the influences he throws her way—Tom Lynn's creation of Polly extends so far that he demands that she create herself, a contradiction they must both confront in the denouement. Fire and Hemlock borrows structures and dynamics that Polly is unaware of (Four Quartets, T.S. Eliot; Cupid and Psyche); it's about the dozens of books that she reads and internalizes; it's about the story that she turns around and writes herself, and about the necessity and limitation of the inspiration she's taken from what she's read. And it's so good.

Most examples—often the best examples—do all of these things. In Catherynne M. Valente's engaging The Labyrinth, some references are in Latin; the fantastic The Game of Kings, Dorothy Dunnett, made me read it with google in one hand and book in the other. Both are exhausting, both are worthwhile. Caitlín R. Kiernan is (obviously) my favorite, because in this way her brain works like mine: her stories are a web of narrative influence, mentioned by name and date or casually misquoted; the way I process wolves/werewolves/black dogs is how her protagonists process their experiences, from their ancient failed romances to their trespasses into the bizarre: these external narratives have become their internal metaphors, necessary tools for interpreting the world. The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl in particular are stories about telling stories, by necessity, imperfectly.

(And all of that is who I am, and what I do.)
juushika: A black and white photo of an ink pen (Writing)
A Book of Tongues is basically an ode to the fact that loving someone is no guarantee that you will do right by them.

Dee bought the rest of the Hexslinger novels (which somehow I'd forgotten would even exist, despite following their writing process?? this is why you can't trust me with series: I so begrudge the extended demand of my time/resources/investment that I will actually wish away the knowledge of sequels), so I'm rereading from the start.

I collect interpersonal relationships—they're my main draw to all media, and the relationships here hit my buttons: they're messy, crazy intimate, unconventional, unforgiving; it reads like what it is, original fic that functions as fanfic, settled firm at character- and id-level, for all that the Aztec-apocalypse plot may blindside you. My love of interpersonal relationships runs an uneven line between the gratifying and the meaningful—I'm personally invested in the concept of unusual (by which I mean, apparently bizarre or unhealthy) intimacy in particular, but most fictional interpersonal relationships fascinate me rather than speak to me.

This particular one, however, does.

I have a few formative mantras, like my compulsive honesty; I know exactly where they come from, and at this point perhaps they shouldn't define me so completely, but I can't shake them because—well, I suppose because they're necessary parts of how I understand myself and explain my history. "Love is not enough" is one of those mantras. Someone can love you, or claim to love you; they can intend to do what's best for you, or claim to; they can still cause you inadvertent and even willful harm.

Unlike most weird intimacies, that particular dynamic isn't something I fetishize—although it works a lovely tandem, here, with everything which is fetishistic, so that the tension between want/don't want is never allowed to fade. But, unexpectedly, I value it. This is the sort of book I'd expect to have feels about, sure, but not more. Wild West with horror and magic and apocalypses and slashfic! it's shouldn't be heartfelt meaningful to me—and yet. It's such an important mantra. It explains huge swaths of my adolescence. There's a joyless, fierce vindication in seeing it in a book.
juushika: Screen capture of the Farplane from Final Fantasy X: a surreal landscape of waterfalls and flowers. (Anime/Game)
I stumbled into a Maledicte reread (I swear, I just wanted to check Mal's eye color—which is black, by the way), and had a moment, as one does, where I held the book to me and said, "This is my favorite book."

And upon consideration: it is.

I don't mean that it's the best book, insofar as there is such a thing (the head-hopping was particularly obvious in this reread); nor is it even the book I'd recommend to the most readers. But I’ve read it an easy seven times since it was published in 2007, at least enough for once yearly and maybe more than that. It’s one of the few books which makes me fannish, or introduced me to one of my favorite characters.

Subgenres are just about my favorite thing, precisely because I love tropes so much—and subgenres are genres turned specific, their tropes distinctive near to the point of exaggeration. Maledicte slides into the deepest niche of fantasy of manners—voiding the genre's tendency to limit fantasy to a fictional setting, its worldbuilding incorporates dark, chthonic magics; its intrigues aren't complex or delicate: they're heartless, bloody, unrelenting, and the complexity instead sits at the interpersonal level; the setting and style has a gleeful abandon, a near exaggeration, from the crumbling divine-smote Relicts to the insubstantial, bickering, reactionary veneer of courtly politics. Taking its cue from Swordspoint, it's queer as fuck: one of the most convincing and complex examinations of gender performance and identity I’ve seen. Think Monette's Doctrine of Labyrinths gone slantwise, more compact, more willing in its cruelty, more idealized (when it wants to be) in its darkness, its beautiful and flawed violence. It has the sort of vivid strokes I expect from visual media, but the complexity and amorality I treasure and which text makes room for. And Maledicte, its heart, my heart, temperamental and seductive, frequently unforgivable but capable of such love.

I've loved this book since the first time I read it:

The opening of Maledicte is the only part of the novel which doesn't quite work for me, and there was no immediate click between me and the book. But as Maledicte stands in the study that first night, rude and beautiful and young, he burns like a light out of the shadows that swathe carpets and bookshelves and I said: Yes.


But I knew that; what amazes me is that I love it the most. I read a lot! I reread almost as often. I have a pile of favorites and a number of books slated for bi-yearly rereads. But this one is, likely, my favorite—favorite not because it meets some untenable standard of "best" or even because it speaks to some episode in my life or of my character, but simply because I love it, vivid dark violent, atmospheric to an extreme, rolling in its tropes and stylizations until it grows filthy with them, as decorative and sharp-edged as Mal with his sword.

That was neat to discover.
juushika: Photograph of a row of books on a library shelf (Books Once More)
What are you currently reading?
I'm about to go back to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky. I took a break about 40 chapters in because HPMOR is long and it can grow, if not tiresome, then at least repetitive, less in what is says and more in the tricks of how it says it. I didn't want the book to begin to weary me because flaws aside, what it says is phenomenal—not flawless or inarguable, and not even always particularly well rendered, but the modes of thinking resonate with me even when I wildly disagree. These are conversations that I want to and do have, edited until everyone has a stronger message and sounds about twice as succinct and witty as they otherwise would; it's a near caricature of discourse and hugely engaging.

What did you recently finish reading?
Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr, for intentional but hilarious contrast. I've read Wicked Lovely before (review here), and my reactions now are almost a complete inverse but focus on the same subjects: Glaring to me this time was Marr's roughness; her fairies are creative but they come in a rough littering of descriptions instead of a unified aesthetic, and the voice is amateur, full of head-hopping and utterly without artistry. The plot, meanwhile, drags and suffers contrivances, but while it may have only one feasible ending that end has nice complexity—there's a real sense that Aislinn's choice matters, despite the restrictions placed on it. It's by no means good, it even feels teenage, awkward and idealized all the way down to the word choice, and I'd recommend against it. But it has potential; I wish I could read the book it might have been, probably if another author had written it.

What do you think you'll read next?
More HPMOR; when I need to break up HPMOR, probably another reread. I've been unwilling to write reviews lately, so have almost exclusively been rereading to take some of the pressure to review new books off of my shoulders.
juushika: Photograph of a row of books on a library shelf (Books Once More)
Mossflower's primary weakness is easier for me to accept because it's a strength in the later books: it's repetitive. It's the first book that can recycle what would become the series's core features: the food, the accents, the species-as-groups-of-people, the questing and parallel adventures, and—more blatantly in Mossflower than elsewhere in the series—the branching, interconnected world. In Mossflower, we get an origin story for near every aspect of Redwall, from the barn cat to St. Ninian's Church to the Abbey itself; often, the tie-ins are obnoxiously neat—but:

Upon re-re-reread, it's surprisingly poignant to see Martin and Timballisto reunited in Mossflower, not just because I know how their story will unfold in this book but because I've met him and heard of him elsewhere throughout the series; his presence, alongside the woodlanders and hares and the rest of the motley crew (and we know them, too, from their roles and progeny in other books), represents Martin's aggregate experience: the warrior in training that he was on the North Shores, which Tim represents, the changes he's undergone since entering Mossflower Woods, the warrior that he's become since leaving Salamandastron, and finally the figure he will be in Redwall's future—a story that overlays multiple books and an entire series.

The series's stylistic repetition is as limiting as it is comforting, that reliable redundancy about the virtues of Deeper 'n Ever Pie. But the world's sprawling mythos becomes its strength. Despite the fact that species function as essentialist stand-ins for groups of people, the interconnected sprawl of the books means that frequently an individual mentioned in one is given greater depth in another; this doesn't do much to develop the villains (and even the exceptions may be problematic, see: The Outcast of Redwall)—but it nonetheless denies the simplicity of species as characterization; it implies that almost anyone could be the protagonist of their own story, and that many are. It also creates a sense of scope, of gravitas, of depth, of emotional connection—which is why Sunflash's appearance in Mossflower's final pages means so much: it has relevance to this story, where we met Bella and glimpsed Salamandastron, but on reread it's indicative of Salamandastron's long and storied history and the continuing impact it will have, has had, on the world of Redwall.

Mossflower's repetition is frequently heavy-handed because it was the first book that could attempt it, so it's both an unpracticed attempt and a particularly glaring one; a lot of that clumsiness, for better or worse, never goes away. But rereading it with a love for the series entire, I appreciate so earnestly what it does because it's indicative of what it will continue to do: every story will have a backstory, and Martin will never be forgotten.

I finished Mossflower late, late last night.
juushika: Photograph of the torso and legs of a feminine figure with a teddy bear (Bear)
Trying to find something distracting to consume hasn't been working overwell, so I reached for something comforting instead and am rereading Mossflower. The book was published in 1988; my copy was published in 1990, but I probably stole it from a Montessori library sometime around 1995. It looks like this, now:

My beat-up copy of Mossflower


If memory serves, the cover came to me with a small crease (it was in a school library), which developed into a second crease, which tore a couple of years ago; I still use a liberated corner of the cover as a bookmark. Again if memory serves, I think the book has gone with me to two nations, two states, two colleges, and about seven different residences.

And it isn't even that good.

It's comparable to comfort food both because food is a recurrent aspect of the Redwall series and because it doesn't have to be objectively good to be comforting. I actually don't much care for Redwall, the first book in the series: the plot is central to the world's history, but it's distinctly a first attempt and while it contains many of the aspects which would become cornerstone to the series—puzzles, food, dialects, multiple adventures running in parallel—the setting and tone is only half there. In Redwall we know there are humans somewhere, building barns and horsecarts, and suddenly an abbey full of talking mice is ridiculous.

Mossflower is the change into what the series would be. It discards the human world, and without making any more justifications or sense (badgers weigh twenty pounds, a mouse stands three inches tall) the setting becomes far more convincing: talking mice and weasels, get passed it; they're not even weasels, really--species function as a stand-in, problematically, for a group of people. It takes those cornerstones and reiterates them, defining what the series would be from here--but coming early enough in the series that it feels familiar rather than redundant (both in publishing order and upon reread). And it's less insular, showing Mossflower as a place entire rather than a central building, journeying as far as Salamandastron, in a way establishing so much more than Redwall did. Redwall was a practice run, but Mossflower determines the future: it builds the Abbey and the series. And I love that series, I read it while growing up and have almost the entire thing in handsome hardback, I celebrated every new release well into my college years, and Jacques's death in 2011 crushed me because that was the death of my childhood.

All the descriptions of food, the shallow puzzles, the existentialist and/or exaggerated characterization*, are rather glaring to me on this reread, but I find I don't mind them. It's almost nostalgic, to see as an adult what it was that made this book work for me as a child. The hardest books for me to review are those with which I have history, because how to separate that history from the book itself? Mossflower is perfectly competent, utterly decent, not awfully well-written, and I love it to literal pieces—the cover has come right off.

* Except Martin. Martin, man, whose one-word characterization may be "Warrior" but whose character arcs are almost always about the conflict between warring and living: fighting is necessary to protect what he loves, but it divides him from what he loves. That conflict is reiterated in all his stories, but it's so bittersweet and surprisingly gentle—quiet, powerful, lonesome Martin, so eager to accept the first hand extended to him in friendship even though he remembers exactly how that ended last time—that I don't much mind.

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