juushika

One adventure in apartment living:

I woke to weird splashing sound to find that the inside of a windowsill was dripping because the upstairs neighbors had a leaky tub. Two weeks of ~daily maintenance visits + two fans and one massive, incredibly hot dehumidifier followed. Needing to be here to cat-wrangle for maintenance plus heat plus noise made for a lot of sleepless anxiety. (I've relied a lot on white noise to fight anxiety, but the ultra-fan combo was a smothering, anxiety-inducing sort of white noise that I didn't even know was possible.)

One weekend after the bathroom was rendered usable, the other bathroom had a backed-up shower. It was resolved that same weekend by a very-satisfying/-gross hair clog removal. But! please will things calm down for like five minutes!

Our major takeaway from all this is that communication is hard (we never seemed to get warning phone calls or time windows, and Dev had to make a number of trips to the office) but the complex moves quickly on structurally damaging things and the actual maintenance crew are personable and considerate. Forever grateful for the maintenance guy that was actively angry at the neighbors, who he suspected should have seen the leak (I'm sticking strictly to no assumptions/no ill will, if only to avoid second-guessing everything they do from now on, but the man had opinions), and told me "oh, this started a week ago? it must feel like a month, with us coming in and out all the time." I appreciate the reminder that no one wants to deal with this sort of thing, although my (not-)dealing was absolutely impacted by being big-time crazy and therefore overwhelmed by the need to masquerade as a grown adult for any length of time.


One victory in apartment living:

We reached critical (anti-)mass in our unpacking to just a few boxes and a few more donation piles, which gave us incredible impetus to finish sorting and actually take in donations and buy our last storage shelves and just be done. There's a part of me that wants to live in the domestic clutter of a Miyazaki film, and a center of me that has a lot of anxiety re: not having things and is hugely emotionally attached to specific things I do have, and part of me that is weighed upon by possessions and liberated by space. Devon comes from a family of hoarders, and so—at least while recovering from that, and determining how he wants to operate his own spaces—has a distinct "miles of open, empty carpet" aesthetic. I think we're finding a good balance: functional, no obsessive minimalism, but empty—clean—so much room to breathe.

The cats love it. Cat furniture is on our to-buy list, and an actual cat tree will reclaim some of that freed space. But open spaces have transformed August into a new beast who sprints the length of the house. There's a garden window reserved for growing sun-warmed cats. They have things to look at out windows, but more than that have safety and space to roam and play in.


Adventures elsewise:

I have a deep ambivalence over summer, because I hate sun and heat—but the summer's ubiquitous, intense* sun and heat create evocative atmospheres and memories. But my usual fear/anticipation has been colored this year by headaches. I've always had light-/heat-/tension-/dehydration-/stress-/exhaustion-headaches, and this feels like a combination of all of the above; and my usual remedies chip away, but nothing eases it completely. We're looking into blackout curtains; in the meanwhile, it's curtailing what I can do, like use the computer or my eyes at all TBH. I'm grateful for audiobooks, but frustrated. I've fallen behind on book reviews, personal correspondence, journaling.

* In as far as "intense" applies the Pacific Northwest; insofar as a PNW resident views any heat or sun at all as intense.

I've been watching a lot of JessiMew's LPs to wind down when my eyes/head feel better, especially in the evenings. I've always enjoyed her videos, but their gentleness is working particularly well for me just now.

Another stack of BPAL reviews—I still have many more to go (nine new ones at least), but it makes me feel productive to post them and so I shall with what I have. (Furthermore, any distraction from this excruciating headache is a good distraction, and that certainly includes prematurely editing and publishing BPAL reviews, oh yes.)

Invaluable resource for my reviews: Wikipedia's color list, oddly enough. Yes, that means I'm indulging a tentative self-diagnosis for minor synesthesia, but no matter. Whether or not that's accurate is secondary to whether or not indulging it is useful, and it is that. Writing up my thoughts on Bengal, I was fighting back and forth for the right color name for the red that I got from it.

It's a shade of carmine. Who knew? The word is slightly more evocative and specific than "that dark but not deep brickish red color" and so highly preferable. It's not the first time I've used that Wiki list to track down descriptors for the colors in these smells, so if it works then I suppose it works.

Anyhow, I promised reviews.


MAGDALENE (GC, Sin and Salvation)
A bouquet of white roses, labdanum, and wild orchid.
( Review. )
Verdict: I'm surprised to find that I rather like this. White roses are a huge departure from the red roses that I'm used to, and unlike red they don't go sharp and bitter with my skin chemistry: instead, they are gentle and a bit sweet, much like real rose blossoms. The orchid is duskier, but it doesn't turn this into a heady mixed floral, but rather shadows in the scent. The resin is a lovely grounding note, and even though the blend suits me better after the floral topnotes have died down, it's pleasant and wearable from start to finish. The scent is mature, a bit subdued, a bit darkened, but overall almost desaturated, ghostly. I don't feel tempted to bathe in it to make it stronger—it's just naturally gentle. This isn't as distinct or as unusual as some BPAL perfume, and doesn't stand out of the crowd for me, but it is a floral I like and can wear, and it's turned me towards white roses. I'll be keeping it around.


NYX (GC, Excolo)
Night-blooming jasmine, warmed by myrrh, lifted by the promise of rose.
( Review. )
Verdict: I amp rose so much that I can barely give a review of this blend—my experience is clouded by my own body chemistry. If the rose were softer, the jasmine might be able to come forward and meld with the myrrh, and this blend might be pleasant. Instead, the rose is predominant, very bitter against the background sweetness of myrrh and florals, and far too sharp. The result is a chunky, overbalanced blend with an unpleasant primary note, so I'll be swapping this out to someone who, hopefully, has better chemistry for and better luck with this blend.


MAD HATTER (GC, Mad Tea Party)
A gentlemen's lavender-citron cologne unhinged by the feral pungence of black musk and a paroxysm of pennyroyal.
( Review. )
Verdict: After the horror of the initial application, I was actually surprised by how lovely this blend turned out to be. When the citron dies away, it transforms: masculine in the darkness of the musk, but not overtly so; complex, herbal, a touch sweet, mature, a little bit unusual. This isn't so strictly a men's blend that I would feel uncomfortable (as a feminine woman) wearing it myself, at least in the final drydown stage. I'm also surprised at how different my impression is from the other reviews I've read: I get no mint, except perhaps in the hint of sweetness, and the citron is instead predominant. No matter—even with the lovely drydown, there's no way that I'm ever going through the biting, overwhelming, cologne-heavy cloud of smell that comes with the initial application, not again. Without the citron, I'd consider this blend for myself. As it is, I'll be passing it on.


MASQUERADE (GC, Bewitching Brews)
Patchouli, ambergris, carnation and orange blossom.
( Review. )
Verdict: The notes were so promising, but the scent is a bit disappointing. I wish that the orange blossom stuck around—I imagine it could give this scent the throw and character that it needs, because as it is I only get a skin scent, like a combination of base notes that should be background to something, not trying to be a perfume on their own. It's pleasant, but faint and almost indistinct. I'll have to try this again and see if I amp it differently under other conditions or like it enough as just a skin scent, but despite how promising the notes are, I may have to pass this along. That's too bad—I had high hopes!

ETA: Over six months later, and my opinion has changed somewhat. The orange blossom still disappears on my skin, but with a touch of aging the ambergris and patchouli have come into themselves. They are slightly salty, earthy, a touch smoky; their scent together is subtle, like a thicker, darker, more alluring second skin, but the throw has increased. I still wish that the florals were stronger, and this scent is not quite what I expected from the notes. However, I have grown to love the combination of ambergris and patchouli enough that I don't mind—I wear it anyway, content with that soft cloud of very bodily, unexpectedly enticing scent.


BENGAL (GC, Wanderlust)
Skin musk with honey, peppers, clove, cinnamon bark and ginger.
( Review. )
Verdict: This is far from the dominant spices that I was hoping for. I never get the cinnamon or clove, the pepper is warm and almost sweet, the ginger is smooth and golden. The base is the heart of this blend, a skin musk that ties the scent to skin level and the smoothest skin-warmed honey, not sticky or cloying in the least. The perfume is faint, low throw and low wear length. But for all of that, the blend is still nice—it's not exceptional, and it's not what I wanted or expected, but I like it and so does the boy. It may make a good scent for cuddling in before bed, when wear length doesn't matter and the skin-level scent would be most appreciated. I'm still on the hunt for a good spicy blend, but I'll probably keep this one around.