![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
It were my birfday!
Aug. 23rd, 2015 11:25 pmIt were my birfday, or, as per tradition:
I'm 30, and 30 feels weird; it's a nice round number upon which to rest all my recent anxiety about health issues, everyone in Devon's immediately circle marrying their girlfriends (of 18 months) and/or having kids, and that general sense of existential despair that comes often when you have no goals/occupation/future. My preoccupation with aging is strange. Because of what my life is like, I live outside of the passage of time as it effects most people, and I don't desire most of those landmarks, but I'm still cognizant of the fact that I'm no longer a child; self-aware neoteny comes with a certain amount of cognitive dissonance.
That said! It was a lovely birthday. Devon came up for the day—we didn't do much special, just went out to eat and watched a show together, but actually marking the event was enough. (I'm bad at both social instigation and the passage of time, so most events pass me unmarked, which I always regret.) And he gave me a 3DS XL! I saw my father for a quick dinner the next day, as he was in town for a flight; I also have a gift in the mail, Dee and I have an outting to make when it's not a) 100° b) smoky due to nearby wildfires c) both, and received birthday wishes from a number of people I care about, including some that I hadn't heard from in some time. Perfectly satisfying, and quite enjoyable.
I'm 30, and 30 feels weird; it's a nice round number upon which to rest all my recent anxiety about health issues, everyone in Devon's immediately circle marrying their girlfriends (of 18 months) and/or having kids, and that general sense of existential despair that comes often when you have no goals/occupation/future. My preoccupation with aging is strange. Because of what my life is like, I live outside of the passage of time as it effects most people, and I don't desire most of those landmarks, but I'm still cognizant of the fact that I'm no longer a child; self-aware neoteny comes with a certain amount of cognitive dissonance.
That said! It was a lovely birthday. Devon came up for the day—we didn't do much special, just went out to eat and watched a show together, but actually marking the event was enough. (I'm bad at both social instigation and the passage of time, so most events pass me unmarked, which I always regret.) And he gave me a 3DS XL! I saw my father for a quick dinner the next day, as he was in town for a flight; I also have a gift in the mail, Dee and I have an outting to make when it's not a) 100° b) smoky due to nearby wildfires c) both, and received birthday wishes from a number of people I care about, including some that I hadn't heard from in some time. Perfectly satisfying, and quite enjoyable.
