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juushikaI've been sleeping a strange schedule lately—by which I mean even stranger than my usual unpredictable hours. I've been approximating a 3p-3a sleep cycle. As a result I haven't been seeing much of people (which to be honest was half of the point), to the extent that the boy's brother—who is out of school for the summer and so living here full time—hadn't seen me at all in three days.
In the attempt to get my schedule a bit more back on track, I stayed up today. At 3p I went out to the kitchen for food and water and boy's brother trailed me to say hello and to remark on the fact that I was, indeed, still alive. Navarre and I ended up talking until the boy came home—just over three hours. Except for some far shorter and more distracted conversations with the boyos's friend John, I haven't had such a fulfilling conversation in person for a long while. I've recently become very close with an online friend that I met in Second Life, but talking in person is different from staying up for hours over IM. The conversations are more taxing, but they also move faster and they flow like water.
To be honest, I rather felt blessed by it all. Navarre has always liked me (yes, it boggles my mind too), and I him—even as a twelve year old, when I met him, he was thoughtful and intelligent. He's grown up much in the same vein—he's a heavy gamer, mediocre student, but personally mature from his age. The experiments and failings of his friends with sex and drugs seem to him foolish and harmful, and he has no use for them—and I agree with all of this. The two of us have always been able to carry on a conversation, but the fact the he wanted to, and for hours, feels like a gift. To my credit I was also unusually gregarious and entertaining—days of near-total isolation can do that even to me, it seems. But it was, simply, a wonderful way to spend the afternoon. Long private conversations are my favorite sort—I observe groups and rarely interact, but in person people strip themselves down, become more thoughtful and more honest, and even if the subject is nearly meaningless the conversation is thrilling.
Otherwise: Obviously I'm still alive out here. My depression has spiked, which happens—in largely causeless, but often shorter, cycles, and I seem to be coming out of it now. As a result I've been hiding from the world and sleeping my crazy schedule. So it goes. On the other hand, I have begun formally blogging Second Life fashion: Rezzable Second Life hosts a large number of sims dedicated to unique and artistic builds which has lately branched out into quite a few stores. I'll be blogging once a week with my usual mixed-up outfits in which at least one piece comes from a Rezzable store. My first post went up a few days ago.
This means nothing, I expect, if you don't play SL—but for me it is a brilliant opportunity. Rezzable is funding my posts and paying me a salary, which is much appreciated all around. It's a great group with some absolutely amazing arts, and also my surfing location of choice. I'm more than pleased to be affiliated and having a lot of fun with my posts.
Beyond that I've been heavily involved in some thought and reading—but the subject is a bit more private, so I'm still considering if I should post on it. If I do, I'll probably lock it up, and least while I figure out where my head is on such matters.
In the attempt to get my schedule a bit more back on track, I stayed up today. At 3p I went out to the kitchen for food and water and boy's brother trailed me to say hello and to remark on the fact that I was, indeed, still alive. Navarre and I ended up talking until the boy came home—just over three hours. Except for some far shorter and more distracted conversations with the boyos's friend John, I haven't had such a fulfilling conversation in person for a long while. I've recently become very close with an online friend that I met in Second Life, but talking in person is different from staying up for hours over IM. The conversations are more taxing, but they also move faster and they flow like water.
To be honest, I rather felt blessed by it all. Navarre has always liked me (yes, it boggles my mind too), and I him—even as a twelve year old, when I met him, he was thoughtful and intelligent. He's grown up much in the same vein—he's a heavy gamer, mediocre student, but personally mature from his age. The experiments and failings of his friends with sex and drugs seem to him foolish and harmful, and he has no use for them—and I agree with all of this. The two of us have always been able to carry on a conversation, but the fact the he wanted to, and for hours, feels like a gift. To my credit I was also unusually gregarious and entertaining—days of near-total isolation can do that even to me, it seems. But it was, simply, a wonderful way to spend the afternoon. Long private conversations are my favorite sort—I observe groups and rarely interact, but in person people strip themselves down, become more thoughtful and more honest, and even if the subject is nearly meaningless the conversation is thrilling.
Otherwise: Obviously I'm still alive out here. My depression has spiked, which happens—in largely causeless, but often shorter, cycles, and I seem to be coming out of it now. As a result I've been hiding from the world and sleeping my crazy schedule. So it goes. On the other hand, I have begun formally blogging Second Life fashion: Rezzable Second Life hosts a large number of sims dedicated to unique and artistic builds which has lately branched out into quite a few stores. I'll be blogging once a week with my usual mixed-up outfits in which at least one piece comes from a Rezzable store. My first post went up a few days ago.
This means nothing, I expect, if you don't play SL—but for me it is a brilliant opportunity. Rezzable is funding my posts and paying me a salary, which is much appreciated all around. It's a great group with some absolutely amazing arts, and also my surfing location of choice. I'm more than pleased to be affiliated and having a lot of fun with my posts.
Beyond that I've been heavily involved in some thought and reading—but the subject is a bit more private, so I'm still considering if I should post on it. If I do, I'll probably lock it up, and least while I figure out where my head is on such matters.
