As an addendum: a few notes about the circumstances of Alfie's death, and some thank yous.

[juushika]

I also feel compelled to say—on a halfway clerical note which makes this all seem even more surreal but ah, let's not kid ourselves, my emotions are beyond fucked up right now anyway and so my entries can be too—that:

Except for being dead, Alfie was in pretty much the best shape I've ever seen him: silky smooth, pleasantly plump, eyes and nose junk-free, and according to Devon and his family he was lively and engaged the morning of his death and his breathing was clear even after they began to notice problems. He was five years old when he died. (Guinea pig life expectancy is about 4-8 years.) So what this was is anyone's guess, but at least it was fast.

I am thankful for everyone's support. I want you all to know that—I just don't have the energy for individual replies, and anyway it would just be the same thing, over and over: Thank you. Thank you. Really, thank you.

I am exceptionally lucky with my support structure right now. That Devon was willing to come up during the week means a lot to me and helped immensely. He'll be here this weekend, too. Dee has been an absolute angel and for one I'm not being passive-affectionate because I have thanked her multiple times—but anyone that allow for an open-casket(/carboard box) viewing on her dining room floor and is totally cool with keeping the corpse in her freezer until we bury it in Corvallis deserves an absolute internet shout out, even if this is not necessarily how they want to be commemorated. Seriously, though: the love of others has made this so much more managable.