juushika

I've gone back and forth on being Jewish "enough" so many times; because my family's full of bad Jews, even the "full" Jews!, but I know that was hugely influenced by assimilation; and I felt like I didn't have a right to this identity, because it's not visible, because it's a limited part of my life, but BRCA has made my family's Jewish ancestry real and unquestionable--if it's in our DNA and in our cancer then of course we have the right to claim it.

And that's a personal, individual reclamation, but at the same time I've seen so many Jews go through it, I've seen Jews of maternal ancestry trying to overcome conflict with their local Jewish communities, I've seen non-practicing Jews struggle to adopt to active practice as way of resisting fascism. And it's all the same struggle with and against assimilation that I've been going through.

Every small success in that struggle gives me so much hope. Anyway, long essay about things you already know just to say that this is so good & I'm so glad you shared it. It sounds so healing and peaceful. And I'm glad you have that person in your life, no matter how many shabbats you decide to attend. I'm considering attending a synagogue/recognizing more holidays when I'm in the place to do so, and I have no idea if I'll be able to follow through on that, but every bit of it counts.