Somewhere between general anxiety and worse than usual back and neck pain

[juushika]

I on the other hand have not been quite so glowing or wonderful. I'm somewhere between general anxiety and worse-than-usual back and neck pain. The neck pain is almost always an extension of back troubles, and the back pain is mostly the fault of housesitting. I have very particular sleep arrangements in order to prevent back pain, and I can't always carry them with me while I'm out of the house. So these last few days I've slept restlessly and woke miserably stiff. But I think it's also an independent crisis, because after just one night away the pain was so intense that I couldn't so much as read—it rarely gets bad enough to interfere with cognitive ability. The pain has been an intense, unrelenting ache, infrequent spasms, and chronic stiffness, accompanied by a bit of shaking, dizziness, and nausea.

The anxiety though is anyone's guess. I suspect it may be related to the back pain—with the level of pain, and with it impairing my ability to do anything from read to sit long enough to watch a TV show, it only figures that I'd be a little bit stressed. Still, I've been dealing with more and more anxiety lately, of the generalized sort, reasonless and pointless and a pain in my ass. The mind just cannot leave well enough alone: my depression is much improved, I know how to deal with the agoraphobia, and so of course I should be plagued with the only issue that's left.

As a result I'm an unfocused shaking stiff and whining mess. C'est la vie. I really only record this for my own purposes—it can be good, in reflection, to see when and potentially why my body or mind went wonky.