juushika: Drawing of a sleeping orange cat (I should have been born a cat)
[personal profile] juushika
You know what would be awesome? If I could sleep reliably and easily. That'd be great. It would also, it seems, be a goddamned miracle.

Yesterday Devon and I went out and finally bought awesome headphones, another belated birthday gift (we've yet to order BPAL, too—I've been half off smellies for the last little bit because I seem very sensitive to them right now, so there's no real rush I suppose). I long grew sick of the over-the-ear pair I use when I go out for Starbucks/library trips, and these sound much better, and I've been eyeing a certain headphone-wearing video game character with envy for a fair bit now, so they're a wonderful buy. I'm so enamored that I sort of want to wear them all the time now, except that—well, there's hardly any need at this particular moment. But they're just what I wanted in both form and function: flattering, black, portable, and the sound quality is fantastic.

I only wish I could paint the red parts green, but that may not work out so well given the warranty.

My head's been in a dozen places at once, lately. It rained yesterday, the first rain of the coming autumn—on the same day that we went out for dinner and shopping, no less. I wore long sleeves, walked through the dark and the mist, and I could not have been happier. I'm reading a book right now which, although it's still too early to tell for sure, I think I may love. But I'm not in my quiet bookish phase—I'm still playing Persona 4 and I've also taken up old school Harvest Moon, Dev's playing, oh, half a dozen games at once, and we're watching anime together for a change—all about as geeky and fangirly as can be. Moderation or, I guess you could say, multitasking like this is not my usual way: I am a creature of extremes, drowning in books or playing video games all day but rarely doing both at once. In a way it seems healthier to spread out my interests like this—I have more freedom and variety, I get a little less obsessed (and I do hate how my brain operates when obsessed), so on, so forth. But there's a certain cognitive dissonance in the variety. I'm fangirly but intellectual, hyper but subdued, talkative but quiet, and—relatedly or not—often cheerful and melancholy in alternating phases, sometimes in the same contradicting phase. For all that it may be healthier and can be quite nice, it's also confusing and fucking exhausting.

The inaccessibility of sleep doesn't help.

I don't exactly want the alternative, the extremes—but I would prefer some stability, or in the very least the ability to do a little more with both sets of moods. I have letters to write. I have posts to write, books to review, reviews to type up ... so much goes undone, and that's beginning to bother me.

I would also like to sleep.

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juushika: Drawing of a sleeping orange cat (Default)
juushika

May 2025

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