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juushikaCritical Role Campaign One, episodes 68-85
this is an edited liveblog
i think Percy dies in this ep [don’t glance at the comments, folks, don’t even glance]
he doesn’t stay dead i know this because he and girltwin kissed recently?? which, sidenote:
i am UP TO HERE with bisexual disaster children ending up in hetero romances
good intentions are not enough; actual representation & diversity matter and constantly reaffirming the hetero is neither, like, there’s one maybe lesbian couple in the background that word of god denies, there’s a canon gay character who’s single, and the bisexual disaster twins are both in hetero relationships, pls stop
anyway i do sort of want a permanent death
i know Mercer isn’t being too gentle in avoiding them, these characters are hella high level and very magical and can do a lot of life-saving/reviving things
but it starts running the risk of not feeling weighty when everyone can just fix an “oops, dead”
and i want to see the cast deal with real loss
the Raven Queen death trade was REALLY close [on account of the fact that it left Vax to deal with, at least, a very real change] and so good, but fr srs, kill someone off
but Percy is probably going to die to Ripley, the only survivor of The List, the one that got away and then killed a lot of people
and i am all for that angst
gimme
(am unsure which is the better option: the status quo of Mercer constantly upping difficult/increasing risks to invite death but the cast being able to revive successfully; or rebalancing the game mechanics so that it’s harder to always every time revive anyone)
(the current balance is great for the narrative, he’s pulled so many memorable suckerpunches [“The Sunken Tomb”! “Best Laid Plans…”!], but it is gonna get repetitive guys)
negotiations with Percy’s nemesis actually have me all fidgety and nervous
goddamn this show
Ripley is manufacturing and distributing guns & instructions for making guns this is Percy’s literal nightmare and he is SO beyond rationality rn and i love him
DM just called Percy’s hex spell the “scar of Orthax” which was the vengeance demon that rode him i
i just
“that little lingering scar of Orthax in the back of your head”
i love i love like i want to be Vax and his journey with the Raven Queen but Percy and Orthax is the very best the most trope the ideal i love them and i love him
RIPLEY HAS ORTHAX i think Ripley has Orthax i am legit beside myself rn
[original sentence: “RIPLEY HAS ORTHAX i thinkr ipyley has orthax i am legit bedie myself rn” don’t have strong emotions while wearing wrist braces, kids]
GODDAMN
Scanlan whispers “she’s the anti-Percy!”
she is she is this WHOLE THING IS SO WELL WRITTEN god when Percy defeated Orthax i was like “but what about Ripley, will he be traumatized, things feel a smidge unresolved” and he took a vacation like i am not the main character rn i am done with angst rn i am freeeeeee
and then with the Raven Queen it all resurged, these unresolved feelings, him going to her asking WHY ME am i broken did it break me; he is so unhealed, even without Orthax, even if he wants to be a good person
and when Ripley resurfaced he TOLD everyone he told them he was terrified of her b/c she was like him she was so clever; and he asked them to burn his stuff when he dies, he’s terrified of his brilliant inventions becoming commonplace and causing a technological & warfare revolution b/c he is the guy that brought guns to fantasy land
and Ripley is now selling guns, she is his every fear + his unresolved Orthax scars i am, like, Taliesin must be beside himself rn b/c he loves the gunslinger anxiety as a character motivation but, wowwwww will Percy ever get a break
i really love that this level 16 party Mercer can still render to “well fuck” “Well, there’s not much i can do” and that time when Grog/Travis FORGOT TO RESPOND because he was busy staring at a dragon and being afraid
like they are so powerful now but he pushes them so hard
Taliesin is so sincerely angry at everything going down
i love him and his shaky hands
Ripley taking 3 shots are Percy i am overcome with feelings also Ripley is my new fave, like, i liked her before, but i LIKE her now
she even has hex
my heart
Mercer totally regrets putting 4 npcs with guns on the board though, gunslinger class so complicated, much to remember
omg is this Vax’s failed protégé is
this FUCKING EPISODE
he’s stabbing Vax’s girlfriend THIS WILL END WELL FOR EVERYONE
boytwin Vax explaining to Keyleth druid how KOs and death saving throws work, and she’s like “i thought it worked like X”
girltwin Vex “take it from us, we’ve been unconscious a lot!”
bless
Percy attacking Vax’s protégé-failure-boy and Vax looks like crying
[I explain backstory to Missy:] a fanboy camped out on their lawn while they were away
and when they came home was like HI CAN I BE VOX MACHINA TOO
and Vax, currently having a hard time of things
legit ko’d the guy with a sneak attack
and then when he came to was like, no, b/c you will die, you little bitch, now go home
and then felt bad/invested afterward and tried to get in contact with the kid again to tell him to at least train or SOMETHING but couldn’t find him
so it is legit on Vax’s shoulders that kid found someone else to join with and is now accidentally a bad guy and they will probably need to kill him
Percy constantly reminding DM of all the rules for gunslinger misfire/gun repair/gun reload
when Ripley has to spend an turn trying to fix a misfired gun
“HA!”
the shout of a revenged gunslinger because this time it happened TO SOMEONE ELSE
Percy reminding DM of gunslinger ability, then “oh shit i shouldn’t have said anything” “oh, don’t worry! i have that written down” “this is meant to punish me for everything i’ve ever done, isn’t it”
yeah
yeah he’s dead
well
it was a near-death experience
b/c magic [this is the necklace revive]
this is basically the best ep since
since last time i liveblogged THE ENTIRE THING
Missy Sparkles: so yesterday.
…..same ep
this one is 4.5 hours
soooo
god i can think of like
only a few times ever
and most of them in Persona
when i was this engaged with something *I* had done
i’m engaged with outside narrative a lot, but even with video games rarely feel like i’m engaged with me and outcome of my actions
as these guys are
every week
Scanlan has been best this episode as combo comedy relief and “guys is this really happen is this … we’re … we’re all going to die”
ko’d revived “Scanlan you are conscious but you are prone on the ground, looking around” Scanlan: ahhh, what a crazy dream [beat] nope, it’s real
“you watch as Orthax appears next to her”
Liam leans over towards Percy/Taliesin and quietly sings “hello darkness my old frienddddd”
he keeps calling Mercer on all sorts of finicky gunslinger rules
“i’ve had to deal with this shit SO MUCH”
gunslinger is a homebrew class and pretty darn complex and he is having a very good/bad day seeing it multiplied into a cast of npcs
ok so
Ripley is trying SO HARD to murder Percy
Percy who has one huge heal cast on him
and one lifesave via divine necklace
“i’m like Rapsutin here”
i love that it’s so personal ahhhhh
[a sidenote:
Missy: is ripley npc?
yeah
Mercer has a general “no bad guys among player characters (except sometimes guests)” rule to keep the meta emotional energy from getting negative in long-running games
there’s soooome deviations but the baseline [“Desperate Measures”!] but no player character villains
which i think is a good call for the larger game
although Liam’s everyone is an evil rogue one-shot was SO SATISFYING
as they all tried to find ways to murder each other
b/c on a smaller scale you don’t hate your friend over that
but on larger scale i imagine people could totally get feelings hurt]
i
this little broken protégé
i need
twelve
twelve scared murder-boys
doing the wrong thing for mistaken reasons
asking for forgiveness
about to get SO DEAD
this is like
if i had written a fic
about this character when he first appeared
it would be this fic
Keyleth/Marisha: your inner insecurities cannot be the cause of Vox Machina’s death! i just want to let you know that. can i have more wine?
Scanlan: we are being killed by a metaphor
Taliesin looks so happysad
apologetic
and very pleased with himself
and his character’s arc
Percy dead AGAIN and everyone is just silent and Taliesin looks SO ENGAgaed and frankly pleased like “this is good storytelling, we are telling a good story” prioritizing narrative over what he wants to happen but oh god
people are speechless they don’t know what to do with their turns it’s incredible
there are 16 mins left in this ep and i legit do not know what will happen??? a good narrative
Marisha is pretty tipsy
but she is also crying
this is the best ep of Critical Role
he still dead
i know he gets better? b/c of the kiss??? but
oh my god
they murdered the fuck out of Ripley
like a lot of murder
but guess what Percy is still dead
Taliesin just in shock
but really calm, composed, invested in narrative
two+ of them crying
i think Liam’s puppy died according to the look on his face
Mercer: it’s fun to be the DM
aaaaand that’s it for this ep COULD YOU IMAGINE WATCHING THIS LIVE
and not knowing FOR A WEEK
…….i need to bed but how do I NOT KNOW overnight????
???????????
i am in distress
This is another edited liveblog, of just the first half of the episode, twin to Ep 68 “Cloak and Dagger” I had a lot of feelings???; let us praise Missy for his endless patience and/or apathy.
TALIESIN NOT EVEN ON SCREEN AS THEY TAKE PERCY’S CORPSE BACK HOME
oh god it didn’t feel real until now
i wish i watched these live except what are spoons/how do regular time commitments/??social activities????
but could you IMAGINE what this must’ve felt like
dm recaps previous episode
“now what do you want to do”
30secs of silence
Scanlan: we have no idddeeea~
god i am slamming pause button like a fucking jeopardy contestant
i have too many feels
Kynan is the best npc after all the other npcs i love (like Ripley rip), i love Mercer’s voice for him he so vulnerable and young and ahhhh
one of the best tropes ever is “look at me” in a power/intimacy dynamic
(which is ironic b/c i personally hate it & it doesn’t work on me but)
forced intimacy with connotations of truthfulness, eyes windows to the etc, is so good so beautiful
so Vax having a very quick very angry chat with failed protégé is magic
their cleric Pike played by Ashley who is in New York shooting a tv show but around for this ep, but not around in game yet b/c she’s in their home base and they’re on the other side of two continents and
she’s just silent in the background
on a computer screen
looking SO NERVOUS
indefinitely
wowowoww so they are all tapped out on spells which means they can’t teleport directly to their healer BUT Mercer gave them on Ripley’s corpse a teleportation spell BUT it’s hella powerful like it can also be used to teleport things TO you including various enemies and objects they’re still seeking to save the world
which ups the stakes considerably, like
do you waste it on reviving a teammate or do you gamble with his life, save that spell, wait to rest and use the normal one, knowing that the longer it takes to revive him the harder it will be
what must this be like for Taliesin in the back room as they bargain away his chances of returning???
[jk he probably loved it he was so giddy about this entire event]
i am very invested in the stakes b/c i don’t want Mercer to deaden the revival process or make it just … routine
[a beat]
although i would 20000% be here for an alternate/future world where these fuckers keep dying left and right and have gotten really skilled at revival magic and carry huge resources of spell materials to shove at each other, and how that would change their personal worldviews and team dynamics, to treat each other like reparable chess pieces, sacrificing for the win….i………
i want that fic very badly
THEY NEED TO SLEEP BEFORE traveling, they made a magical mansion b/c it’s a thing they do, DM is like “and before you make your way to your respective rooms—if you have anything you want to do before the evening’s rest this is the time” and
VAX
PROPOSES
THEY ALL SLEEP IN THE LIVING ROOM TOGETHER
because he doesn’t want to be alone
he loves his found family so much, my heart
“where do we put Percival you guys”
oh god
on a table in the room all … safe and … nearby
Scanlan who made this suggestion “And we’ll all sleep around him, and it’ll be super weird”
he’s been the most together about this passing
his character is also far and beyond the oldest in the group, he’s the weird advice guy he … i … feelings
this is my fetish
interpersonal intimate reactions to important and terrifying things
the downtime
always the downtime
and then August sat on me and i couldn’t type so i just cried for like half an hour while they fixed him
oh my god
Taliesin is so smug
Vex “it’s yours” after a few episodes ago “my heart belongs to someone else” of all the hetero ships this has always been my least unfavorite they have a great dynamic
Kelyeth had to do a CHARISMA
she has the lowest of charismas
Orthax was eating his soul
Orthax was EATING HIS SOUL
DM was waiting on text from Taliesin to let him know if Percy was convinced by everything
my fragile heart can’t handle this
fic i want:
everyone gets inured to their mortality, risktaking behavior, on-hand revivification, that weird combo of jaded and so very alive [think that magical healing trope turned to 11]
Percy omnomnom via Orthax, what does that look like, what it is like for Orthax, how does it relate to his previous bonds with Percy/Ripley, consuming his soul while possessing him vs seeking vengeance on him when possessing Ripley—which hunger was he feeding??
thing i want from canon:
Percy WHAT WAS THAT LIKE how fucked up are you now
he forgave Ripley (it was his last words) but how much of that is controverted by the literal hell awaiting him after death
they likened Percy to a crow, Orthax had bird likeness, Keyelth gave him a raven skull once, used it to pull him back, Vax spread his black feathered wings to let Percy borrow them like the crow he truly is
what does that imagery mean/he’s given up on gods, he’s given the Raven Queen over to Vax but now he is the one of the group most intimately familiar with death
fans think maybe the Raven Queen’s armor was originally meant for Percy
Grog was the one that remembered how to sever Orthax from Percy (200% out of voice for the actual resurrection he was so discombobulated and forgot the accent it was adorable) how does this parallel Grog’s death/soul consumption by Craven Edge, does he remember much of that, does he identify with Percy
sidenote Grog/Travis couldn’t remember the details of that death by Craven Edge, and part of that was the heat of the moment but THIS IS WHAT I MEAN when i talk about the near-deaths being repetitive and almost forgettable
[I wish Mercer had done less handholding in the entire resurrection tbh, had left them to parse the haunted gun and remember the restoration spell on their own
I also wish that they didn’t have such a huge window for revivals (a week????) because that killed the tension of the teleportation spell, alternately/also that the difficulty curve were steeper; just give me some pressure and chance of failure pls]
i have a lot of feelings and
i am so shaky and tired
Vex/Laura was like “can we take a break is it time for break now i need to go throw up”
same girl same
the thing is i totally bought Keyleth/Vax in this particular interaction, her conjuring crows, him sprouting the wings, giving her advantage on a really hard roll
my problem is less with the hetero ships than it is 1) the lack of NON hetero ships 2) literally. polyamory. it’s the solution. SLEEP IN A PILLOW FORT BY THE CORPSE OF YOUR FRIEND you fuckers these are non-competitive relationships you can love all of you i know it you’ve proved it
Percy/Vax is so complicated and flawed, Vax/Keyleth has gotten remarkably healthier since he met the Raven Queen in person, Vex/Percy is pleasantly kinky in good ways b/c he is 200% her bitch, Grog/Vax is pure stress relief no emotional attachment, look, look at how healthy this all is coexisting LOOK
alongside Grog and Pike’s siblinghood and Scanlan the accidental group dad and Keyleth&Percy the platonic old married couple NONCOMPETITIVE INTIMACY COEXISTING LOOK LOOK AT IT
(Pike in unrequited monogamous love with an npc, and sistermother to absolutely every person in Vox Machina, even Scanlan now that he’s stopped chasing her, so far away and so full of limitless and unconditional love)
(and this is to NOT EVEN DISCUSS OTHER NPCS)
goddamnit
okay
okay
bed
you are in no ways obligated to read this wall of text
like fucking greatwall of china wall of text
i just, there were feelings and then oops
remember when i was scared to start this ep ahahahahahhahahahahahhhhha oh my god it exceeded expectations i tell you what
Missy Sparkles: i read it all
then i got to end
when you’re like ‘you don’t need to read it’
and it’s like
TOO LATE
I’ve been catching up on Critical Role! it’s so weird that the first series is done and I’m terrified of spoilers! anyway this is episode uhhhh 75-85, grouped more by subject than chronology, and is hella spoiler
Will Freidle’s sometimes-questionable social energy (guest stars are hard, everyone gets over-stimulated in a way that can bring out the questionable humor; Kashaw in particular sometimes gets … very hetero…) is entirely redeemed by the discovery that Kashaw knows military tactics. on one hand, Vox Machina was not responsible for the larger war, they were just instigators/strike team; on the other, I wonder how fucked Emon would have been if at least one (1) played character hadn’t contributed in any measarable way to the battle planning
(I secretly hope he saved their asses)
my liveblog notes went like this: Thordak fight was too easy :( he was supposed to be such a big threat but they just smushed him >> did you know that fighting two dragons literally back to back is MAYBE a bad idea; dear fuck but Raishan (pt 1) is brutal >> if Vax hadn’t landed that kill in the tunnels, then would Thordak have been way harder? Matt was probably v. sad until they followed Raishan down there and tried real hard to murder themselves as quickly and efficiently as possible >> wtb perma character death, tho :( it would be such great storytelling!
and then Raishan (pt 2), and I was like: I regret all my statements! all!
I am shook by Scanlan’s departure & I think it was expertly done: 1) I am glad that Matt (& players!) are aiming for harder rezzes/higher probably of permadeath; I will still not be the least surprise if we never see one PLS NO SPOILERS TY but—
while the idea of a band of adventures grown inured to death, who are developing a discomfortingly intimate relationship with the afterlife, who just … put their entrails back in, and then get drunk, is all very good
—it’s time to put the threat back in to death, since dying itself doesn’t seem to be a threat anymore. 2) I still bawled like fuck during the ritual, in part b/c I am destroyed by all depictions of death rn, in part b/c it was v. good, but mostly b/c Liam’s face broke my entire heart. 3) this sort of currently-unresolvable social conflict stemming from death simultaneously reinforces death-as-real-threat and fits Scanlan’s recent character arc. the confrontation was so unfair but so realistic—these people making untenable demands of one another; someone who keeps others at a distance pushing them for … being distant—and the stunned silence when no one knew his parents’s names just. it was very good. narrative-wise. 4) I DO NOT WANT SCANLAN TO LEAVE and if you had asked why on any previous date I would not have had a convincing answer: utility and comic relief*, but not investment in a character (which, of course, is exactly what Scanlan points out!) but the real reason?
is Grog
b/c Grog is so often played for humor, it’s easy to forget how relentlessly Travis is in character; easy to forget, also, how substantial Grog’s arc has been. the counterpoints of Groon (pt 2) and Scanlan’s departure is devastating: this conscious affirmation of Grog’s character growth, friendships, family, set against the knowledge that it sometimes doesn’t matter/isn’t enough. also when Vax told him he was proud (from this transcript):
^ that! Scanlan is a fun character. Grog is a fun character. But it’s the way these things interact with each other that makes me feel really bad about ever wishing for some sort of. permanent loss. permanent change. heartbreaking development to spur character growth. I mean, I regret nothing, it’s good narrative, but also I am surprisingly shaken by it.
* and, I mean, with Sam himself not leaving, of course there will still be comic relief, so this hardly counts
sidenote: that convo between Kerrek and Grog about the resurrection ritual reminded me of this post about the reality of magical healing. it puts into context that Vox Machina’s dealing with high-level shit, that they are not average dudes (Jarett’s performance in the Thordak battle did this too, bless him); also highlighting that this aforementioned journey towards “inured to death, developing a discomfortingly intimate relationship with the afterlife” should actually be upsetting!! it’s not normal! or, moreover, healthy!
this is bad: the entire huge party rolling the same ability check until someone gets lucky. Matt frowns and so do I. this is good: a natural sequence of dice rolls and in-character/thoughtful conversation, esp. when there’s nat 20s, that profoundly progresses the plot.
Rothfuss can be a little awkward to watch just because he has a different playstyle, very third-persony, a different … player-lingo, I guess. but his experience as a fantasy author makes him think in-narrative—not by metagaming, not by guessing the narrative structure, but by viewing the world through his character’s eyes and knowledge, & applying it to worldbuilding: if necromancy was big deal, what are the big names in necromancy? who knows them? etc. the swift discovery of Raishan (pt 2) was so satisfying to witness.
the concrete contributions of Kashaw and Kerrek helps justify guest characters—which, as mentioned, can be hard to adjust to or contribute weird social energy, so need justification sometimes
the more I watched, the more I felt like there was basically no one I would rather play with than Rothfuss/Kerrek. once you adapt to that third-person voice, he’s just—gentle, soft, humanly flawed, smart!, he makes in-character fuckups like Grog does, but they’re less frustrating b/c of the character type. he tries to use normal heal spells on disemboweled party members. he’s emotionally engaged and intellectually engaged. he’s so happy to be there that he makes Skype look easy. I should read his books* maybe? I’m so grateful he was there.
* I read one and ehhhhhhh :(
thobari replied to your post “I’ve been catching up on Critical Role! it’s so weird that the first…”
at the risk of singing too many praises, it’s at the essence of what Rothfuss brought to the game: that in-character focus on in-universe aspects, thinking through to the consequences of things.
I’m mostly okay with things like this being left as sidenotes. I mean, I absolutely want speculative narratives to be as engaged with bodies as I am, but I also want it to be a conversation about ability, ableism, and normality, and trauma and trauma recovery, and body horror, and and and–and … I don’t trust narratives to get those things right without making them a substantial part of the story (or even then). meanwhile, a brief, fridge horror-y acknowledgement is rewarding and thought-provoking but has less room for error.
mostly tho I’m tickled that you thought of me <3 the scene also reminded me of some of our previous conversations!
this is an edited liveblog
i think Percy dies in this ep [don’t glance at the comments, folks, don’t even glance]
he doesn’t stay dead i know this because he and girltwin kissed recently?? which, sidenote:
i am UP TO HERE with bisexual disaster children ending up in hetero romances
good intentions are not enough; actual representation & diversity matter and constantly reaffirming the hetero is neither, like, there’s one maybe lesbian couple in the background that word of god denies, there’s a canon gay character who’s single, and the bisexual disaster twins are both in hetero relationships, pls stop
anyway i do sort of want a permanent death
i know Mercer isn’t being too gentle in avoiding them, these characters are hella high level and very magical and can do a lot of life-saving/reviving things
but it starts running the risk of not feeling weighty when everyone can just fix an “oops, dead”
and i want to see the cast deal with real loss
the Raven Queen death trade was REALLY close [on account of the fact that it left Vax to deal with, at least, a very real change] and so good, but fr srs, kill someone off
but Percy is probably going to die to Ripley, the only survivor of The List, the one that got away and then killed a lot of people
and i am all for that angst
gimme
(am unsure which is the better option: the status quo of Mercer constantly upping difficult/increasing risks to invite death but the cast being able to revive successfully; or rebalancing the game mechanics so that it’s harder to always every time revive anyone)
(the current balance is great for the narrative, he’s pulled so many memorable suckerpunches [“The Sunken Tomb”! “Best Laid Plans…”!], but it is gonna get repetitive guys)
negotiations with Percy’s nemesis actually have me all fidgety and nervous
goddamn this show
Ripley is manufacturing and distributing guns & instructions for making guns this is Percy’s literal nightmare and he is SO beyond rationality rn and i love him
DM just called Percy’s hex spell the “scar of Orthax” which was the vengeance demon that rode him i
i just
“that little lingering scar of Orthax in the back of your head”
i love i love like i want to be Vax and his journey with the Raven Queen but Percy and Orthax is the very best the most trope the ideal i love them and i love him
RIPLEY HAS ORTHAX i think Ripley has Orthax i am legit beside myself rn
[original sentence: “RIPLEY HAS ORTHAX i thinkr ipyley has orthax i am legit bedie myself rn” don’t have strong emotions while wearing wrist braces, kids]
GODDAMN
Scanlan whispers “she’s the anti-Percy!”
she is she is this WHOLE THING IS SO WELL WRITTEN god when Percy defeated Orthax i was like “but what about Ripley, will he be traumatized, things feel a smidge unresolved” and he took a vacation like i am not the main character rn i am done with angst rn i am freeeeeee
and then with the Raven Queen it all resurged, these unresolved feelings, him going to her asking WHY ME am i broken did it break me; he is so unhealed, even without Orthax, even if he wants to be a good person
and when Ripley resurfaced he TOLD everyone he told them he was terrified of her b/c she was like him she was so clever; and he asked them to burn his stuff when he dies, he’s terrified of his brilliant inventions becoming commonplace and causing a technological & warfare revolution b/c he is the guy that brought guns to fantasy land
and Ripley is now selling guns, she is his every fear + his unresolved Orthax scars i am, like, Taliesin must be beside himself rn b/c he loves the gunslinger anxiety as a character motivation but, wowwwww will Percy ever get a break
i really love that this level 16 party Mercer can still render to “well fuck” “Well, there’s not much i can do” and that time when Grog/Travis FORGOT TO RESPOND because he was busy staring at a dragon and being afraid
like they are so powerful now but he pushes them so hard
Taliesin is so sincerely angry at everything going down
i love him and his shaky hands
Ripley taking 3 shots are Percy i am overcome with feelings also Ripley is my new fave, like, i liked her before, but i LIKE her now
she even has hex
my heart
Mercer totally regrets putting 4 npcs with guns on the board though, gunslinger class so complicated, much to remember
omg is this Vax’s failed protégé is
this FUCKING EPISODE
he’s stabbing Vax’s girlfriend THIS WILL END WELL FOR EVERYONE
boytwin Vax explaining to Keyleth druid how KOs and death saving throws work, and she’s like “i thought it worked like X”
girltwin Vex “take it from us, we’ve been unconscious a lot!”
bless
Percy attacking Vax’s protégé-failure-boy and Vax looks like crying
[I explain backstory to Missy:] a fanboy camped out on their lawn while they were away
and when they came home was like HI CAN I BE VOX MACHINA TOO
and Vax, currently having a hard time of things
legit ko’d the guy with a sneak attack
and then when he came to was like, no, b/c you will die, you little bitch, now go home
and then felt bad/invested afterward and tried to get in contact with the kid again to tell him to at least train or SOMETHING but couldn’t find him
so it is legit on Vax’s shoulders that kid found someone else to join with and is now accidentally a bad guy and they will probably need to kill him
Percy constantly reminding DM of all the rules for gunslinger misfire/gun repair/gun reload
when Ripley has to spend an turn trying to fix a misfired gun
“HA!”
the shout of a revenged gunslinger because this time it happened TO SOMEONE ELSE
Percy reminding DM of gunslinger ability, then “oh shit i shouldn’t have said anything” “oh, don’t worry! i have that written down” “this is meant to punish me for everything i’ve ever done, isn’t it”
yeah
yeah he’s dead
well
it was a near-death experience
b/c magic [this is the necklace revive]
this is basically the best ep since
since last time i liveblogged THE ENTIRE THING
Missy Sparkles: so yesterday.
…..same ep
this one is 4.5 hours
soooo
god i can think of like
only a few times ever
and most of them in Persona
when i was this engaged with something *I* had done
i’m engaged with outside narrative a lot, but even with video games rarely feel like i’m engaged with me and outcome of my actions
as these guys are
every week
Scanlan has been best this episode as combo comedy relief and “guys is this really happen is this … we’re … we’re all going to die”
ko’d revived “Scanlan you are conscious but you are prone on the ground, looking around” Scanlan: ahhh, what a crazy dream [beat] nope, it’s real
“you watch as Orthax appears next to her”
Liam leans over towards Percy/Taliesin and quietly sings “hello darkness my old frienddddd”
he keeps calling Mercer on all sorts of finicky gunslinger rules
“i’ve had to deal with this shit SO MUCH”
gunslinger is a homebrew class and pretty darn complex and he is having a very good/bad day seeing it multiplied into a cast of npcs
ok so
Ripley is trying SO HARD to murder Percy
Percy who has one huge heal cast on him
and one lifesave via divine necklace
“i’m like Rapsutin here”
i love that it’s so personal ahhhhh
[a sidenote:
Missy: is ripley npc?
yeah
Mercer has a general “no bad guys among player characters (except sometimes guests)” rule to keep the meta emotional energy from getting negative in long-running games
there’s soooome deviations but the baseline [“Desperate Measures”!] but no player character villains
which i think is a good call for the larger game
although Liam’s everyone is an evil rogue one-shot was SO SATISFYING
as they all tried to find ways to murder each other
b/c on a smaller scale you don’t hate your friend over that
but on larger scale i imagine people could totally get feelings hurt]
i
this little broken protégé
i need
twelve
twelve scared murder-boys
doing the wrong thing for mistaken reasons
asking for forgiveness
about to get SO DEAD
this is like
if i had written a fic
about this character when he first appeared
it would be this fic
Keyleth/Marisha: your inner insecurities cannot be the cause of Vox Machina’s death! i just want to let you know that. can i have more wine?
Scanlan: we are being killed by a metaphor
Taliesin looks so happysad
apologetic
and very pleased with himself
and his character’s arc
Percy dead AGAIN and everyone is just silent and Taliesin looks SO ENGAgaed and frankly pleased like “this is good storytelling, we are telling a good story” prioritizing narrative over what he wants to happen but oh god
people are speechless they don’t know what to do with their turns it’s incredible
there are 16 mins left in this ep and i legit do not know what will happen??? a good narrative
Marisha is pretty tipsy
but she is also crying
this is the best ep of Critical Role
he still dead
i know he gets better? b/c of the kiss??? but
oh my god
they murdered the fuck out of Ripley
like a lot of murder
but guess what Percy is still dead
Taliesin just in shock
but really calm, composed, invested in narrative
two+ of them crying
i think Liam’s puppy died according to the look on his face
Mercer: it’s fun to be the DM
aaaaand that’s it for this ep COULD YOU IMAGINE WATCHING THIS LIVE
and not knowing FOR A WEEK
…….i need to bed but how do I NOT KNOW overnight????
???????????
i am in distress
This is another edited liveblog, of just the first half of the episode, twin to Ep 68 “Cloak and Dagger” I had a lot of feelings???; let us praise Missy for his endless patience and/or apathy.
TALIESIN NOT EVEN ON SCREEN AS THEY TAKE PERCY’S CORPSE BACK HOME
oh god it didn’t feel real until now
i wish i watched these live except what are spoons/how do regular time commitments/??social activities????
but could you IMAGINE what this must’ve felt like
dm recaps previous episode
“now what do you want to do”
30secs of silence
Scanlan: we have no idddeeea~
god i am slamming pause button like a fucking jeopardy contestant
i have too many feels
Kynan is the best npc after all the other npcs i love (like Ripley rip), i love Mercer’s voice for him he so vulnerable and young and ahhhh
one of the best tropes ever is “look at me” in a power/intimacy dynamic
(which is ironic b/c i personally hate it & it doesn’t work on me but)
forced intimacy with connotations of truthfulness, eyes windows to the etc, is so good so beautiful
so Vax having a very quick very angry chat with failed protégé is magic
their cleric Pike played by Ashley who is in New York shooting a tv show but around for this ep, but not around in game yet b/c she’s in their home base and they’re on the other side of two continents and
she’s just silent in the background
on a computer screen
looking SO NERVOUS
indefinitely
wowowoww so they are all tapped out on spells which means they can’t teleport directly to their healer BUT Mercer gave them on Ripley’s corpse a teleportation spell BUT it’s hella powerful like it can also be used to teleport things TO you including various enemies and objects they’re still seeking to save the world
which ups the stakes considerably, like
do you waste it on reviving a teammate or do you gamble with his life, save that spell, wait to rest and use the normal one, knowing that the longer it takes to revive him the harder it will be
what must this be like for Taliesin in the back room as they bargain away his chances of returning???
[jk he probably loved it he was so giddy about this entire event]
i am very invested in the stakes b/c i don’t want Mercer to deaden the revival process or make it just … routine
[a beat]
although i would 20000% be here for an alternate/future world where these fuckers keep dying left and right and have gotten really skilled at revival magic and carry huge resources of spell materials to shove at each other, and how that would change their personal worldviews and team dynamics, to treat each other like reparable chess pieces, sacrificing for the win….i………
i want that fic very badly
THEY NEED TO SLEEP BEFORE traveling, they made a magical mansion b/c it’s a thing they do, DM is like “and before you make your way to your respective rooms—if you have anything you want to do before the evening’s rest this is the time” and
VAX
PROPOSES
THEY ALL SLEEP IN THE LIVING ROOM TOGETHER
because he doesn’t want to be alone
he loves his found family so much, my heart
“where do we put Percival you guys”
oh god
on a table in the room all … safe and … nearby
Scanlan who made this suggestion “And we’ll all sleep around him, and it’ll be super weird”
he’s been the most together about this passing
his character is also far and beyond the oldest in the group, he’s the weird advice guy he … i … feelings
this is my fetish
interpersonal intimate reactions to important and terrifying things
the downtime
always the downtime
and then August sat on me and i couldn’t type so i just cried for like half an hour while they fixed him
oh my god
Taliesin is so smug
Vex “it’s yours” after a few episodes ago “my heart belongs to someone else” of all the hetero ships this has always been my least unfavorite they have a great dynamic
Kelyeth had to do a CHARISMA
she has the lowest of charismas
Orthax was eating his soul
Orthax was EATING HIS SOUL
DM was waiting on text from Taliesin to let him know if Percy was convinced by everything
my fragile heart can’t handle this
fic i want:
everyone gets inured to their mortality, risktaking behavior, on-hand revivification, that weird combo of jaded and so very alive [think that magical healing trope turned to 11]
Percy omnomnom via Orthax, what does that look like, what it is like for Orthax, how does it relate to his previous bonds with Percy/Ripley, consuming his soul while possessing him vs seeking vengeance on him when possessing Ripley—which hunger was he feeding??
thing i want from canon:
Percy WHAT WAS THAT LIKE how fucked up are you now
he forgave Ripley (it was his last words) but how much of that is controverted by the literal hell awaiting him after death
they likened Percy to a crow, Orthax had bird likeness, Keyelth gave him a raven skull once, used it to pull him back, Vax spread his black feathered wings to let Percy borrow them like the crow he truly is
what does that imagery mean/he’s given up on gods, he’s given the Raven Queen over to Vax but now he is the one of the group most intimately familiar with death
fans think maybe the Raven Queen’s armor was originally meant for Percy
Grog was the one that remembered how to sever Orthax from Percy (200% out of voice for the actual resurrection he was so discombobulated and forgot the accent it was adorable) how does this parallel Grog’s death/soul consumption by Craven Edge, does he remember much of that, does he identify with Percy
sidenote Grog/Travis couldn’t remember the details of that death by Craven Edge, and part of that was the heat of the moment but THIS IS WHAT I MEAN when i talk about the near-deaths being repetitive and almost forgettable
[I wish Mercer had done less handholding in the entire resurrection tbh, had left them to parse the haunted gun and remember the restoration spell on their own
I also wish that they didn’t have such a huge window for revivals (a week????) because that killed the tension of the teleportation spell, alternately/also that the difficulty curve were steeper; just give me some pressure and chance of failure pls]
i have a lot of feelings and
i am so shaky and tired
Vex/Laura was like “can we take a break is it time for break now i need to go throw up”
same girl same
the thing is i totally bought Keyleth/Vax in this particular interaction, her conjuring crows, him sprouting the wings, giving her advantage on a really hard roll
my problem is less with the hetero ships than it is 1) the lack of NON hetero ships 2) literally. polyamory. it’s the solution. SLEEP IN A PILLOW FORT BY THE CORPSE OF YOUR FRIEND you fuckers these are non-competitive relationships you can love all of you i know it you’ve proved it
Percy/Vax is so complicated and flawed, Vax/Keyleth has gotten remarkably healthier since he met the Raven Queen in person, Vex/Percy is pleasantly kinky in good ways b/c he is 200% her bitch, Grog/Vax is pure stress relief no emotional attachment, look, look at how healthy this all is coexisting LOOK
alongside Grog and Pike’s siblinghood and Scanlan the accidental group dad and Keyleth&Percy the platonic old married couple NONCOMPETITIVE INTIMACY COEXISTING LOOK LOOK AT IT
(Pike in unrequited monogamous love with an npc, and sistermother to absolutely every person in Vox Machina, even Scanlan now that he’s stopped chasing her, so far away and so full of limitless and unconditional love)
(and this is to NOT EVEN DISCUSS OTHER NPCS)
goddamnit
okay
okay
bed
you are in no ways obligated to read this wall of text
like fucking great
i just, there were feelings and then oops
remember when i was scared to start this ep ahahahahahhahahahahahhhhha oh my god it exceeded expectations i tell you what
Missy Sparkles: i read it all
then i got to end
when you’re like ‘you don’t need to read it’
and it’s like
TOO LATE
I’ve been catching up on Critical Role! it’s so weird that the first series is done and I’m terrified of spoilers! anyway this is episode uhhhh 75-85, grouped more by subject than chronology, and is hella spoiler
Will Freidle’s sometimes-questionable social energy (guest stars are hard, everyone gets over-stimulated in a way that can bring out the questionable humor; Kashaw in particular sometimes gets … very hetero…) is entirely redeemed by the discovery that Kashaw knows military tactics. on one hand, Vox Machina was not responsible for the larger war, they were just instigators/strike team; on the other, I wonder how fucked Emon would have been if at least one (1) played character hadn’t contributed in any measarable way to the battle planning
(I secretly hope he saved their asses)
my liveblog notes went like this: Thordak fight was too easy :( he was supposed to be such a big threat but they just smushed him >> did you know that fighting two dragons literally back to back is MAYBE a bad idea; dear fuck but Raishan (pt 1) is brutal >> if Vax hadn’t landed that kill in the tunnels, then would Thordak have been way harder? Matt was probably v. sad until they followed Raishan down there and tried real hard to murder themselves as quickly and efficiently as possible >> wtb perma character death, tho :( it would be such great storytelling!
and then Raishan (pt 2), and I was like: I regret all my statements! all!
I am shook by Scanlan’s departure & I think it was expertly done: 1) I am glad that Matt (& players!) are aiming for harder rezzes/higher probably of permadeath; I will still not be the least surprise if we never see one PLS NO SPOILERS TY but—
while the idea of a band of adventures grown inured to death, who are developing a discomfortingly intimate relationship with the afterlife, who just … put their entrails back in, and then get drunk, is all very good
—it’s time to put the threat back in to death, since dying itself doesn’t seem to be a threat anymore. 2) I still bawled like fuck during the ritual, in part b/c I am destroyed by all depictions of death rn, in part b/c it was v. good, but mostly b/c Liam’s face broke my entire heart. 3) this sort of currently-unresolvable social conflict stemming from death simultaneously reinforces death-as-real-threat and fits Scanlan’s recent character arc. the confrontation was so unfair but so realistic—these people making untenable demands of one another; someone who keeps others at a distance pushing them for … being distant—and the stunned silence when no one knew his parents’s names just. it was very good. narrative-wise. 4) I DO NOT WANT SCANLAN TO LEAVE and if you had asked why on any previous date I would not have had a convincing answer: utility and comic relief*, but not investment in a character (which, of course, is exactly what Scanlan points out!) but the real reason?
is Grog
b/c Grog is so often played for humor, it’s easy to forget how relentlessly Travis is in character; easy to forget, also, how substantial Grog’s arc has been. the counterpoints of Groon (pt 2) and Scanlan’s departure is devastating: this conscious affirmation of Grog’s character growth, friendships, family, set against the knowledge that it sometimes doesn’t matter/isn’t enough. also when Vax told him he was proud (from this transcript):
TRAVIS: So, so, taken aback. As I play Grog I am just constantly trying to find the joke in things and there was just so much sincerity and a genuineness to the way he was saying it and there was nothing awkward and I got emotional and I just completely shut down and so I had nothing to reply with and I realized that that is Grog’s response to something that straight on. He just went completely mannequin and then he smacks him in the face and runs out and then he can have his response. My response is no response. Just froze in the headlights of warm sincerity.
^ that! Scanlan is a fun character. Grog is a fun character. But it’s the way these things interact with each other that makes me feel really bad about ever wishing for some sort of. permanent loss. permanent change. heartbreaking development to spur character growth. I mean, I regret nothing, it’s good narrative, but also I am surprisingly shaken by it.
* and, I mean, with Sam himself not leaving, of course there will still be comic relief, so this hardly counts
sidenote: that convo between Kerrek and Grog about the resurrection ritual reminded me of this post about the reality of magical healing. it puts into context that Vox Machina’s dealing with high-level shit, that they are not average dudes (Jarett’s performance in the Thordak battle did this too, bless him); also highlighting that this aforementioned journey towards “inured to death, developing a discomfortingly intimate relationship with the afterlife” should actually be upsetting!! it’s not normal! or, moreover, healthy!
this is bad: the entire huge party rolling the same ability check until someone gets lucky. Matt frowns and so do I. this is good: a natural sequence of dice rolls and in-character/thoughtful conversation, esp. when there’s nat 20s, that profoundly progresses the plot.
Rothfuss can be a little awkward to watch just because he has a different playstyle, very third-persony, a different … player-lingo, I guess. but his experience as a fantasy author makes him think in-narrative—not by metagaming, not by guessing the narrative structure, but by viewing the world through his character’s eyes and knowledge, & applying it to worldbuilding: if necromancy was big deal, what are the big names in necromancy? who knows them? etc. the swift discovery of Raishan (pt 2) was so satisfying to witness.
the concrete contributions of Kashaw and Kerrek helps justify guest characters—which, as mentioned, can be hard to adjust to or contribute weird social energy, so need justification sometimes
the more I watched, the more I felt like there was basically no one I would rather play with than Rothfuss/Kerrek. once you adapt to that third-person voice, he’s just—gentle, soft, humanly flawed, smart!, he makes in-character fuckups like Grog does, but they’re less frustrating b/c of the character type. he tries to use normal heal spells on disemboweled party members. he’s emotionally engaged and intellectually engaged. he’s so happy to be there that he makes Skype look easy. I should read his books* maybe? I’m so grateful he was there.
* I read one and ehhhhhhh :(
thobari replied to your post “I’ve been catching up on Critical Role! it’s so weird that the first…”i was thinking of you during that conversation kerreck had about resurrection, so i’m glad to see you finally get to that part! i wish it was something that got explored more deeply, but i still really enjoyed that moment and how it showed how no, these kind of rituals are not normal. their successes with it are not normal.
at the risk of singing too many praises, it’s at the essence of what Rothfuss brought to the game: that in-character focus on in-universe aspects, thinking through to the consequences of things.
I’m mostly okay with things like this being left as sidenotes. I mean, I absolutely want speculative narratives to be as engaged with bodies as I am, but I also want it to be a conversation about ability, ableism, and normality, and trauma and trauma recovery, and body horror, and and and–and … I don’t trust narratives to get those things right without making them a substantial part of the story (or even then). meanwhile, a brief, fridge horror-y acknowledgement is rewarding and thought-provoking but has less room for error.
mostly tho I’m tickled that you thought of me <3 the scene also reminded me of some of our previous conversations!
