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juushikaJenny Nicholson made me do it! I watched that The Vampire Diaries video one too many times, and it doesn't make me want to watch the series—her coverage of that is too entertaining and too complete, and I just do not have the time; but it left me so curious about the booksg: do they have that same missed potential? the inscrutable fan wiki quote about Bonnie and Damon implies as much! does Smith's exploitation by Alloy Entertainment mean that her "fan" novels are the truer, more fully realized version?
The answers are what you'd expect: the series is bad and full of missed potential, and not always in entertaining ways; but sometimes in very entertaining ways, or at least in a "it's fun to regale an innocent bystander with the craziest plot development" way which, admittedly, is not the same thing; and the character dynamics are the hottest part of the mess, have the most missed potential, are sincerely lovable, and it's not worth wading through the series just for them. And none of this Smith can or does fix when given completely free rein.
Anyway, I just read the books actually authored by Smith, and the series is numbered accordingly.
Title: The Awakening (The Vampire Diaries Book 1)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins, 1991
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 250
Total Page Count: 394,170
Text Number: 1490
Read Because: I watched that Jenny Nicholson video one too many times
Review: A popular high schooler sets her sights on the new boy, who's actually an old, old vampire. Past me would have been "above" this, but, character growth: present me thinks it's pretty fun. It's distinctly schlocky, but in the interesting way that early examples of a trope or genre are, where they're establishing hallmarks but deviate from later examples on some key points. For example, the protagonist: far from relatable, she's entitled and selfish—and surprisingly this grew on me, and it plays well in the romance. Short and sweet, stupidly Halloweeny, pure brain candy; this is just what I hoped for and I will read more.
Title: The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries Book 2)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 280
Total Page Count: 396,770
Text Number: 1500
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: In order to protect her vampire boyfriend, our protagonist seeks out his much more dangerous brother. Young adult paranormal romance always requires suspension of belief in order to buy the premise of "ancient vampire is content to love a teenager and perpetually attend high school" and that's fine, it's just the buy-in for the genre; but the plot here is a lot of teenage drama, so much that I don't want to be there and the vampires hanging around feel even less convincing.
But! The uncanny early coming of a grim winter is delightfully gothic, the vampire scenes in this series have been consistently great, and, perhaps controversially, I love Elena: her humbling as a queen bee and the fact that this makes her (often irritating) bossiness and pride a source of strength is, sincerely, a great character arc. This is trash reading for sure, and its flaws bug me, but it's as often great trash.
Title: The Fury (The Vampire Diaries Book 3)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 285
Total Page Count: 397,055
Text Number: 1501
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Elena wakes from the events of the previous book to find herself changed, and convinces Stefan and Damon to work together to help her protect her home from a dangerous outside force. Turning the protagonist of a monster boyfriend/YA paranormal romance into a straight-up vampire this (relatively) early is brilliant, actually, and I like the tone: simultaneously sorrowful, tense, and still a power fantasy, it continues to flatter the surprising strengths of Elena's unlikable characterization. And again, the vampire bits are great, distinctive and intimate. Unfortunately the action and denouement have a hammy tragedy which is a lot less interesting. I've been pleasantly surprised by this series, but I'm definitely not here for the plot.
Title: Dark Reunion (The Vampire Diaries Book 4)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 310
Total Page Count: 397,365
Text Number: 1502
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: With Elena gone, her friends carry on—but a vision from Elena warns Bonnie that a new danger has come to town. Book 3 was great, so I regret that I didn't really like this one. There are good elements: the wonderland-nightmare imagery of the vision, Bonnie's character arc, some more great vampire scenes (particularly the homoerotic moment between Damon and Matt). But, as with the previous book, I don't care about the antagonist. This series tends to offer strong character arcs, great vampires, and disappointingly predictable YA plots; this installment is particularly heavy on the last.
Title: The Return (The Vampire Diaries Book 5)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 2010
Rating: 1.5 of 5
Page Count: 610
Total Page Count: 399,695
Text Number: 1509
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: A new danger threatens the town with mind-controlling magic, while Elena is still recovering from the unusual events of the previous book. Really, though, this is the Vampire Diaries book about sex. Aren't vampire stories always about sex? Yes, but this is especially preoccupied with it. Teen girls are infected by a promiscuity disease, Elena embodies the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, Damon is a womanizer with a heard of gold who's in love with both Elena and Bonnie, the vampire lore makes explicit parallels between blood drinking and sex, and Elena's new superpower making impotent vampires want to kiss ("kiss") her. It's also buck wild, with a borderline incoherent plot; and it's twice as long as the previous books and feels like it lasts a century. The first three books in this series are great trash; this by contrast is crackfic, raw and unfiltered and not good. Interesting, sometimes! But not good.
Title: Shadow Souls (The Vampire Diaries Book 6)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 2010
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 570
Total Page Count: 400,265
Text Number: 1510
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Elena, Damon, & co. go to the Dark Dimension to rescue Stefan from prison. The developing relationship between Elena and Damon is engagingly ballsy: "polyamory would fix everything" is the truism of a love triangle, but that's the canonical overarching narrative structure of this series and a recurring facet of the character dynamics; suitingly, this is less a case of warring attractions and more two simultaneous, actualized romantic relationships. Novel, spicy, interesting.
But beyond that, this is pretty bad. The hell dimension is a stylized discourse on slavery (which touches not at all on the series's roots in the American South) and an extravagance of luxury and gowns; that's someone's fantasy, but not mine. This is more focused than the wild mess of the previous book, but it's not better. I slogged through it.
Title: Midnight (The Vampire Diaries Book 7)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperTeen, 2011
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 510
Total Page Count: 408,140
Text Number: 1532
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Across two dimensions, Elena et al. make their final push to save Fell's Church. I picked up this series because of the Jenny Nicholson video about the show, but specifically because of the quote she pulls from the fanwiki about Bonnie and Damon's relationship. I'm delighted that the series lives up to the conflicted, garbled poetry of that synopsis. The relationships are, as ever, a bombastic mess; and there's canonical proto-polyamory in this book. Amazing. Not good, I mean, obviously; and subject always to revision as Smith chases her id-of-the book.
The mess and bombast don't translated well outside the romances, and this is poorly paced and full of unbelievable characterization, and I just don't care about the Dark Dimension or the antagonists of this arc (blame that on the awkward Japanophilia). So far, only the first three Vampire Diaries books have actually been worth reading. But the rest are worth hearing in summary. That renders the madness of the plot at least entertaining; and, excised from plot, there's so much potential and intrigue and intensity in the relationships. An "indescribable, electrifying, and magnetic connection." Bonnie is Damon's weak spot, his only tenderness, in an antihero forming one leg of an even messier love triangle-turned-complex-polygon! There's a lot of blood drinking and psychic bonding! Don't you want to read that? I mean, you really shouldn't; but don't you want to?
Title: Paradise Lost (The Vampire Diaries Book 8) (depending on how you count, I guess)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: Amazon Kindle Worlds, 2014
Rating: 1.5 of 5
Page Count: 270
Total Page Count: 412,610
Text Number: 1552
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: I stuck with the middling The Return arc in order to get to this one, to see what Smith would do without Alloy's toxic constraints. Unfortunately the result isn't great: Stefan erases all knowledge of himself & the supernatural from everyone's memory "for Elena's own good," substituting Damon in his place. Points for being a blatant and obviously misguided take on this trope, but it's still an awful trope and I would rather not. It also shunts one love interest out in favor of the other, and while Damon may be a more interesting endgame than Stefan, both pale in comparison to the proto-polyamory that has stretched this entire cast for the entire series and became canon in the previous, final official Smith-authored, book.
The plot, meanwhile, is pretty nonexistent. Another new danger threatens, but we barely see it behind Stefan's machinations. Of course I'll read the next book, the last that Smith has published in this series; it would be silly to stop now. But while the genesis of these "fanfics" is interesting, and a concrete redress of Smith's relationship with Alloy, the actual reading experience is underwhelming and my advice remains: just read the first three books.
Title: War of the Roses (The Vampire Diaries Book 9)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published:
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 60
Total Page Count: 413,445
Text Number: 1557
Read Because:continuing the series
Review: Better that the series end here than with the previous book, not because this is a better de facto ending, but simply because the previous book was so bad and this one has a saving grace: after introducing some new plot threads, it jumps back to explain Damon's rescue, which is more satisfying for answering a mystery and which leans into the complicated-but-rewarding mess of relationships.
Insofar as a review of the "final" book is a review of the series entire, nothing has changed. The genesis of these author-written "fan" novels is interesting, but it's not worth reading this far. The first three books are pulpy fun—stop there. I admire the incredible mess of relationships in the sequels, but that way lies batshit and tedious plots; it's just not worth it.
Nonetheless I don't regret my Vampire Diaries adventures—sometimes, a little batshit garbage but also there's vampires and there really should be polyamory is harmless, actually.
The answers are what you'd expect: the series is bad and full of missed potential, and not always in entertaining ways; but sometimes in very entertaining ways, or at least in a "it's fun to regale an innocent bystander with the craziest plot development" way which, admittedly, is not the same thing; and the character dynamics are the hottest part of the mess, have the most missed potential, are sincerely lovable, and it's not worth wading through the series just for them. And none of this Smith can or does fix when given completely free rein.
Anyway, I just read the books actually authored by Smith, and the series is numbered accordingly.
Title: The Awakening (The Vampire Diaries Book 1)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins, 1991
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 250
Total Page Count: 394,170
Text Number: 1490
Read Because: I watched that Jenny Nicholson video one too many times
Review: A popular high schooler sets her sights on the new boy, who's actually an old, old vampire. Past me would have been "above" this, but, character growth: present me thinks it's pretty fun. It's distinctly schlocky, but in the interesting way that early examples of a trope or genre are, where they're establishing hallmarks but deviate from later examples on some key points. For example, the protagonist: far from relatable, she's entitled and selfish—and surprisingly this grew on me, and it plays well in the romance. Short and sweet, stupidly Halloweeny, pure brain candy; this is just what I hoped for and I will read more.
Title: The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries Book 2)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 3 of 5
Page Count: 280
Total Page Count: 396,770
Text Number: 1500
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: In order to protect her vampire boyfriend, our protagonist seeks out his much more dangerous brother. Young adult paranormal romance always requires suspension of belief in order to buy the premise of "ancient vampire is content to love a teenager and perpetually attend high school" and that's fine, it's just the buy-in for the genre; but the plot here is a lot of teenage drama, so much that I don't want to be there and the vampires hanging around feel even less convincing.
But! The uncanny early coming of a grim winter is delightfully gothic, the vampire scenes in this series have been consistently great, and, perhaps controversially, I love Elena: her humbling as a queen bee and the fact that this makes her (often irritating) bossiness and pride a source of strength is, sincerely, a great character arc. This is trash reading for sure, and its flaws bug me, but it's as often great trash.
Title: The Fury (The Vampire Diaries Book 3)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 4 of 5
Page Count: 285
Total Page Count: 397,055
Text Number: 1501
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Elena wakes from the events of the previous book to find herself changed, and convinces Stefan and Damon to work together to help her protect her home from a dangerous outside force. Turning the protagonist of a monster boyfriend/YA paranormal romance into a straight-up vampire this (relatively) early is brilliant, actually, and I like the tone: simultaneously sorrowful, tense, and still a power fantasy, it continues to flatter the surprising strengths of Elena's unlikable characterization. And again, the vampire bits are great, distinctive and intimate. Unfortunately the action and denouement have a hammy tragedy which is a lot less interesting. I've been pleasantly surprised by this series, but I'm definitely not here for the plot.
Title: Dark Reunion (The Vampire Diaries Book 4)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 310
Total Page Count: 397,365
Text Number: 1502
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: With Elena gone, her friends carry on—but a vision from Elena warns Bonnie that a new danger has come to town. Book 3 was great, so I regret that I didn't really like this one. There are good elements: the wonderland-nightmare imagery of the vision, Bonnie's character arc, some more great vampire scenes (particularly the homoerotic moment between Damon and Matt). But, as with the previous book, I don't care about the antagonist. This series tends to offer strong character arcs, great vampires, and disappointingly predictable YA plots; this installment is particularly heavy on the last.
Title: The Return (The Vampire Diaries Book 5)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 2010
Rating: 1.5 of 5
Page Count: 610
Total Page Count: 399,695
Text Number: 1509
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: A new danger threatens the town with mind-controlling magic, while Elena is still recovering from the unusual events of the previous book. Really, though, this is the Vampire Diaries book about sex. Aren't vampire stories always about sex? Yes, but this is especially preoccupied with it. Teen girls are infected by a promiscuity disease, Elena embodies the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, Damon is a womanizer with a heard of gold who's in love with both Elena and Bonnie, the vampire lore makes explicit parallels between blood drinking and sex, and Elena's new superpower making impotent vampires want to kiss ("kiss") her. It's also buck wild, with a borderline incoherent plot; and it's twice as long as the previous books and feels like it lasts a century. The first three books in this series are great trash; this by contrast is crackfic, raw and unfiltered and not good. Interesting, sometimes! But not good.
Title: Shadow Souls (The Vampire Diaries Book 6)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperCollins Publishers, 2010
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 570
Total Page Count: 400,265
Text Number: 1510
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Elena, Damon, & co. go to the Dark Dimension to rescue Stefan from prison. The developing relationship between Elena and Damon is engagingly ballsy: "polyamory would fix everything" is the truism of a love triangle, but that's the canonical overarching narrative structure of this series and a recurring facet of the character dynamics; suitingly, this is less a case of warring attractions and more two simultaneous, actualized romantic relationships. Novel, spicy, interesting.
But beyond that, this is pretty bad. The hell dimension is a stylized discourse on slavery (which touches not at all on the series's roots in the American South) and an extravagance of luxury and gowns; that's someone's fantasy, but not mine. This is more focused than the wild mess of the previous book, but it's not better. I slogged through it.
Title: Midnight (The Vampire Diaries Book 7)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: HarperTeen, 2011
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 510
Total Page Count: 408,140
Text Number: 1532
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: Across two dimensions, Elena et al. make their final push to save Fell's Church. I picked up this series because of the Jenny Nicholson video about the show, but specifically because of the quote she pulls from the fanwiki about Bonnie and Damon's relationship. I'm delighted that the series lives up to the conflicted, garbled poetry of that synopsis. The relationships are, as ever, a bombastic mess; and there's canonical proto-polyamory in this book. Amazing. Not good, I mean, obviously; and subject always to revision as Smith chases her id-of-the book.
The mess and bombast don't translated well outside the romances, and this is poorly paced and full of unbelievable characterization, and I just don't care about the Dark Dimension or the antagonists of this arc (blame that on the awkward Japanophilia). So far, only the first three Vampire Diaries books have actually been worth reading. But the rest are worth hearing in summary. That renders the madness of the plot at least entertaining; and, excised from plot, there's so much potential and intrigue and intensity in the relationships. An "indescribable, electrifying, and magnetic connection." Bonnie is Damon's weak spot, his only tenderness, in an antihero forming one leg of an even messier love triangle-turned-complex-polygon! There's a lot of blood drinking and psychic bonding! Don't you want to read that? I mean, you really shouldn't; but don't you want to?
Title: Paradise Lost (The Vampire Diaries Book 8) (depending on how you count, I guess)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published: Amazon Kindle Worlds, 2014
Rating: 1.5 of 5
Page Count: 270
Total Page Count: 412,610
Text Number: 1552
Read Because: continuing the series
Review: I stuck with the middling The Return arc in order to get to this one, to see what Smith would do without Alloy's toxic constraints. Unfortunately the result isn't great: Stefan erases all knowledge of himself & the supernatural from everyone's memory "for Elena's own good," substituting Damon in his place. Points for being a blatant and obviously misguided take on this trope, but it's still an awful trope and I would rather not. It also shunts one love interest out in favor of the other, and while Damon may be a more interesting endgame than Stefan, both pale in comparison to the proto-polyamory that has stretched this entire cast for the entire series and became canon in the previous, final official Smith-authored, book.
The plot, meanwhile, is pretty nonexistent. Another new danger threatens, but we barely see it behind Stefan's machinations. Of course I'll read the next book, the last that Smith has published in this series; it would be silly to stop now. But while the genesis of these "fanfics" is interesting, and a concrete redress of Smith's relationship with Alloy, the actual reading experience is underwhelming and my advice remains: just read the first three books.
Title: War of the Roses (The Vampire Diaries Book 9)
Author: L.J. Smith
Published:
Rating: 2 of 5
Page Count: 60
Total Page Count: 413,445
Text Number: 1557
Read Because:continuing the series
Review: Better that the series end here than with the previous book, not because this is a better de facto ending, but simply because the previous book was so bad and this one has a saving grace: after introducing some new plot threads, it jumps back to explain Damon's rescue, which is more satisfying for answering a mystery and which leans into the complicated-but-rewarding mess of relationships.
Insofar as a review of the "final" book is a review of the series entire, nothing has changed. The genesis of these author-written "fan" novels is interesting, but it's not worth reading this far. The first three books are pulpy fun—stop there. I admire the incredible mess of relationships in the sequels, but that way lies batshit and tedious plots; it's just not worth it.
Nonetheless I don't regret my Vampire Diaries adventures—sometimes, a little batshit garbage but also there's vampires and there really should be polyamory is harmless, actually.
